Sunday, November 28, 2010

Where Can I Turn For Peace?

Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
Where, with a wounded heart
anger or malice,
I draw myself apart
Searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know,
where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand
to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.

He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane
Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds
for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.

~Emma Lou Thayne

I'm the president of our local church's women's organization. About a month ago I was talking to my two counselors and secretary about my upcoming lesson/class/discussion that I would give the first weekend in December. I realized then that it would be given on my birthday. "What do you want for your birthday" was brought up. I blurted out, "I just want peace!" It hit me, so powerfully, that this was what I needed to talk about in my class. This wanting, and searching, and needing peace has been the most important thing in my life this year.

I can honestly say that it's been the hardest year of my life. Thinking about the needs of most women in our church, the women and men all over the world, frankly, I see that we are all seeking this in one way or another. December is a really hard time to experience that feeling of "peace on earth" for a lot of us. I know it is for me in so many ways.

Last year on Christmas Day, coming home late that night from Nana and Grandpa's, we found that our house had been broken into and ransacked, with windows and the back door bashed in. (We were blessed that nothing was taken. Strange, but miraculously, true.) My beloved grandmother died two days before Christmas another year. A December six years ago, as I was frantically trying to decorate the house for incoming guests, running around like a crazy woman that whole month, burned out and hating and resenting the entire Christmas season, I fell through the attic ceiling, almost landing onto the garage floor below (another miracle) and ended up with bruises covering my entire thighs and an even more bruised and broken spirit.

So many expectations. The whole month seeming like one big to-do list. Feeling like you can't get off the runaway train. Pure exhaustion from all the baking, shopping, cleaning, entertaining, card sending, money worries, everyone- and- their- dog gifting, dealing with the loneliness of loved ones who've passed on or just loneliness in general...

We all need peace. Every one of us. Today, it's been on my mind a lot after having some honest talks and discussion with some people I care about.

Thinking about all of this, I do know that when I'm still enough, I know where I can turn to. The One who'll never fail. The Prince of Peace.

This December, with everything you do, in your home and relationships with those you love, trying to do all that you want and need and desire to accomplish and be...

My hope is that you can feel the peace you so desperately need, too.


  1. peace is something that I long for the most. mostly in my family. You have had a rough last couple of Christmases for sure. I pray for peace for you this year!!

  2. Wonderful to join you on your quest and to read about you and your reflections. Tasha Tudor is a wonderful inspiration.

  3. Peace, definetly as in He gave it unto comfort us and carry and spread around!