Saturday, November 19, 2011

missing you

There I was at Macey's yesterday afternoon. Stocking up with groceries for the week. Scanning the Asian food section. Wondering if there was anything I needed. A woman, about your age, paused too, off to the side of me. I glanced at her, but didn't really look at her. Something about the way she was leaning over her cart. Something about her gesture. Something about the way she was. She really didn't even look like you all that much. But it was just something.

It startled me. Kind of took my breath away.

Then I looked down and saw the huge turkey sitting in her cart. I smiled to myself, thinking that this woman, like so many of us, are thoughtfully gathering, planning, and preparing for this upcoming feast day. Wanting to make everything perfect, special, just right, because we love our families.

And I knew you'd be doing this, too, if you could.

It hit me so hard, then, how much I miss you. I do miss you, Nana, so very much. Still so hard to believe you won't be there in the kitchen this Thanksgiving Day.

The tears welling in my eyes there in the Asian aisle. The chin quivering. Suppressing the urge to sob out loud when that young man came right up to me then, looked right into my eyes, and asked, "Are you finding everything alright?"

And now, as I type and look at this picture of your joyful, smiling, beautiful face, those tears can no longer be contained. I let them fall slowly down my cheeks.



  1. So hard the absence of those we love dearly! I am glad that Thanksgiving falls in this month! Missing my dear sister Ines and my babies - there is always a hollow place when those we loved moved ahead or never got here! xoxos!