Wednesday, November 21, 2012

an abundance

This has been a quiet, lazy morning. Just taking things slow. Jane's home for the long weekend, as we all gathered last night to watch Sam play his first home basketball game of the season. I had to leave not even halfway into it to get to school. The night's topic specifically about giving a pregnancy massage. Side lying position. I'll have class again tonight.

Isaac left the game with his cousin who is here from Arizona with his parents for the holiday and are staying at my mom and dad's house. He spent the night there and is now enjoying this much looked forward to time off from school and time spent with this cousin who he bonded with over the summer. A day that will probably become a board game marathon.

I lingered for so long in bed this morning. Amazed that I slept so deeply through the night and even slept later than is my early rising norm. Most likely from last night's massage. No real desire for running this morning. Only books and the newspaper and quiet and the cozy comfort of my bed. 

I will get going soon, I know. I'm on pie duty as is the case most years. Jane has expressed her interest in helping me. She's become such a good cook. We've been invited to join Keith's sisters and their families for dinner at his cousin Cindy's home. So kind and generous of her to extend this hand of hospitality to us. 

I will get up early tomorrow and go for my run and then start the rolls which have become part of my Thanksgiving offering. From the way things look outside my window today, it appears that the day will be clear and beautiful. 

As Thanksgiving day has approached, I cannot help but reflect on all the abundance that this year has brought. So much goodness. So many blessings. So many miracles. So much of a fullness. So many tender mercies. So many prayers answered. So many opportunities for growing. So many cherished relationships.

Even as I see that my life is far from perfect--where days sometimes bring moments of disappointment, struggle, and stress-- I realize that I have so much. Truly. So much that I am thankful for. My heart is full. Filled to overflowing. I think that I am the happiest I've ever been. More than ever, an acceptance and an understanding of who I am. For what is. Coming to an understanding that this is what I have. That I can't control, change, or dwell on the past or what the future may hold. What I do have is this present state of now. These moments. So fleeting. So precious. I find great comfort in this.

I feel so much peace and love coming into my life. Purpose and meaning and contentment and understanding. Being able to quietly observe all that's good; all the simple beauties and gifts that are right before my eyes. Even the goodness and personal growth that comes through suffering and hardship. 

I can see a connection between my happiness and my gratitude. The literal act of quietly observing and then tangibly recording these blessings; whether it's been through my writing, my journaling, my photography-- it seems like everyday, my capacity to see this abundance, God's love and presence in my life, being able to see all these connections and these tender mercies and happy coincidences--this ability and these opportunities just continue to keep on growing and growing and coming and coming. 

It's all so good. So very, very good.