Friday, November 16, 2012

digging deep


As part of a Professional Development class for my massage therapy training, we had a discussion last night that really caused me to dig deeply. A chance and an opportunity to search my soul. A time to really question, reflect, and verbalize who I am as a person. The values and vision I have in my life for not only my career as a massage therapist, but as a person.

Doing this sort of exercise wasn't that difficult for me, as I am a very "internal" person; often analyzing my emotions, my thoughts, and the meaning of my life.  The meaning and purpose of life in general.

But as I sat there in my desk last night, this act of deep pondering, concretely thinking, and written expression about my life brought so many feelings to the surface. Tender emotions that have been building, especially within the past few days.

And the tears wouldn't stop flowing...

(I'm not sure the exact purpose in my sharing of these deeply personal feelings here, but I feel a need and a desire somehow, as this blog is literally my personal journal and record of my life. In a real sense it is a profound, meaningful, and often times, much needed "therapy" of sorts; a place of deep and satisfying self expression and soul searching.) 


My Ideal Life


If I could do anything with my life it would be...
Making a difference in others lives and finding personal fulfillment, purpose and meaning in doing so.

The people I know who seem to be happy are happy because...
They are at peace with "what is". They embody the power of gratitude in every aspect of their lives.

I am happiest when...
I am growing, learning, feeling peace, feeling meaning, feeling success in my life.  When I feel loved. When I feel gratitude. When I serve others.

My most treasured memory is...
The births of my children.

Because...
They came from a culmination of sacrifice and suffering, bringing a complete fullness of love and joy into my life. This highlight and most treasured of all memories of my life.

The most admirable things about me are...
That I'm a caring, giving, warm, and dedicated person.

When I look at my home life, the activities that are the most worth are...
Spending one on one time with each family member. Building meaningful relationships. Developing closeness and intimacy through communication and time spent together.

The things I most value in a relationship are...
Communication, intimacy, compassion, and kindness.

Who and what have been major influences in my values development...
My parents and other's examples and teachings, spiritual and religious doctrine, beliefs, teachings and messages of spiritual teachers and leaders of which I have studied and internalized. 



The most important people in my life are...
God, Jesus Christ, my immediate family, my parents and extended family, cherished friends, and so many other people in this world who I've learned from, have been influenced by, and who have touched my life with their goodness and example.

I could improve those relationships by...
Serving them, spending time together, engaging in heart-felt, deep communication.

The values that are most important to me are...
Love, compassion, mercy, and gratitude.

The character traits I deem essential are...
Love, kindness, courage, peace, gratitude.

The greatest accomplishment of my life is...
My motherhood.

Something I hope to do that is as great, or even better, is...
Rising, living to the full measure of my creation.

If I only had one year to live, I would concentrate on...
Building relationships. Creating meaningful memories.

Am I doing those things now?
Yes.