Wednesday, February 6, 2013


I decide to go to the library. Just as well. Even though I took Isaac on Saturday.
The parking lot is full. Needing to park further away than I normally do. I don't mind. I like to walk.
Storytime. That's what it is. That time of day.
I put my bag on my shoulder and head to the building. Walking alongside moms and their preschoolers.
That used to be me.
Me holding a hand. Pushing a stroller.
I wait in the breezeway, patiently and with a smile, looking on at this young mother praising, instructing her little ones as they put their stuff in the bookdrop.
As I scan these shelves, little voices are heard singing rhymes. Familiar songs we used to sing.
And my heart aches. A real, tangible ache I can feel heavy in my chest.
I acknowledge this ache. Mindfully observe it like a parent would a child. With love, with tenderness.
I'm older. I've reached a different stage in my life. I lived those years. Lived them fully, joyfully, completely.
I'm at peace with that, I realize.
More and more finding ease, even enjoyment with who I am right now. With this quiet. With this solitude. All this time I now have for myself.
This me.
I sit down with a book of poetry. Love poems. I read and I read. I give some attention to anatomy class demands. I gaze out the window. I study the stained glass patterns.
The hours pass.
I look at my watch and realize it's time to go home.


  1. Hello Emily,
    I first discovered your blog about a year ago by way of Heather's Vegan Workshop. I have lately rediscovered your lovely blog and just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your thoughtful posts and beautiful photographs.
    This particular entry really hit a chord with me, I too have grown children and have happy memories of home school years spent learning and discovering things together. I too am learning new ways of being now that I have more time for myself. Maybe I'll even get back to my own long neglected blog as a result of your inspiring example!
    Happy winter to you!

    1. Claire, Thank you so much for being here, and for leaving such kind, touching words. I've visited your blog and sense a kindred spirit in you.


  2. I have felt this very same way! WOW, I love how you describe is sad, but's different! We need to embrace each time in our lives because each new chapter is a gift! Thanks for the reminder :)

  3. The stained glass reminds me... At one time, proposed to a friend that we collaborate on a lamp - hand thrown pottery base, and a stained glass shade. Wouldn't that we awesome! Thanks for your pictures - most days I change my desktop background to one that you have taken. Thank you!