Sunday, February 24, 2013


Just woke up from the longest Sunday nap I can remember having in a long, long time. Came home from church, ate some lunch, and sank down with Isaac sprawled out all over my legs at the other end of the couch. Both of us zonked out for almost two hours. One of those kinds of naps where you know you really needed it, sinking so deeply, waking up feeling refreshed and a little groggy all at the same time.

We have to go to class on Fridays if there's a holiday on Mondays. Always a bummer as the week seems to drag on longer. Especially if that night's Anatomy if i'm being completely honest. It was Variations class (advanced basic Swedish massage) and so it wasn't that bad after all.

It turned out to be a very insightful experience that night. Our instructor had us bring scarves and bandannas to class and we ended up giving massages to our fellow students while being blindfolded. To get us into that state of mind, all of us (with blindfolds now on) walking around in a circle, toe to toe and very, very slowly. Traditional Japanese music playing softly in the background. It became a very meditative and introspective experience.

And I couldn't believe how easy it was, later, donning the blindfold again and intuitively knowing where and how to apply my hands to the person on the table. Perceiving it all, almost like a third person watching; the whole session playing out in my mind's eye. So beautiful how this inner sense of quiet and stillness descended upon me. So much so that I could feel warm tears forming underneith closed eyelids and soft cloth. How this forced darkness made it so much easier to allow myself to slip into a wonderful sense of slow, total attention, and awareness. The surprising sense of ease that came from not having to rely soley on eyesight (a sense that so often seems to dominate all other senses) into this present state of being able to more fully trust my hands and touch alone to what this body on the table was trying to tell me.

Saturday was pretty typical. Took Isaac in the morning to my mom's for his piano lesson. Braved a snowstorm to get the groceries. Banana-berry bread baking, board games, laundry catchup, and a fun night out with friends (Indian and Life of Pi) rounding out the day. Worked on my resume; an assignment that's due in the next few weeks for one of my classes. Wondering what you do in situations like mine where twenty-two years of life is a blank slate as far as formal employment goes. Not having spent a day in the workforce since college. It leaves me with a feeling of inadequacy. Questioning whether years and years of volunteer work and community service would be fitting and appropriate to fill in all this blank space. It makes sense that it would.

1 comment:

  1. the blindfold thing was a spectacular idea - makes total sense too. It sounds like you have picked a really solid program. I'm jealous of the anatomy - I actually could use a refresher.

    About the resume...
    it's too bad that motherhood doesn't count as a job. I mean really, think about all the work you have done in those 23 years. Please don't feel inadequate - motherhood is no easy task :)