Thursday, May 30, 2013

these are the days

pale pink peonies
(my favorite flower of all time)

picnics in a park
flowers left on a grave
 watching him dancing the Tarantella  with the other third graders at the school Dance Festival

vines and foliage filling out on the front porch

sore throats, coughing fits, and body aches

end of the year awards assemblies
(outstanding Spanish 1 student for her, he wins the arm wrestling contest, and Isaac taking grand prize for penmanship in the first through fifth grades)
us in sandals 

preparations for summer art classes here at our house
(her first entrepreneurial and teaching experience)

preparations for Jane to fly on a jet plane far, far away
next Tuesday

preparations for camp the first week after school lets out

celebrating the last day of school with one-on-one time
with Mom
talk about summer dreams and plans

water parties with friends
pouring over yearbooks
a welcome visit to the bookstore

Friday, May 24, 2013


:: for eyes that see beauty even in a patch of weeds.

:: for him begging me to sit by him. 

:: for cool, soft sheets against end-of-a-long-day skin.

:: for sweet smiling eyes and a sweet smiling mouth.

:: for these many souls... the old, elder ones, the sweet young pregnant ones, the tired and weary ones, the anxious and worried ones, the over-burdened ones, the muscle aching ones, the peace and solace seeking ones,  the tense and tight ones... all seeking out strong and soothing hands on a Saturday morning.

:: for an afternoon to really connect and renew with my sister. Connecting soul to soul with massage, Thai lunch date, lots of laughs, and heart-to-heart sharing.  

:: for the surprise and joy hearing his quiet and familiar "Mom" on the phone.

:: and then the sigh of relief knowing that someone in far of Finland had the goodness, the honesty, the kindness in their heart to pick up his lost and dropped wallet left behind on a street and turn it in to the citywide lost and found station. (and what an idea that is.) Return it and all of its contents just as it was found. A tender mercy.

:: for food that is not only satisfying, but nourishing as well.

:: for an angel friend.

:: to have a dear friend call in sobbing tears of joy (and my own soon to follow. goosebumps running up and down my body, too) and utter amazement and couldn't wait a minute more to share this wonder with me. Bursting to say that our Jane, out of thousands of other possible missionaries was the one (without her daughter's, or Jane's, or anybody else's foreknowledge.) to stand there at the curb, ready and waiting to welcome and escort my friend's new missionary daughter--Jane's own childhood friend-- into the training center. A little miracle; another tender mercy we just can't deny.

:: for contentment, knowing that all that hard work paid off in the end. So happy, relieved, and satisfied (and even taken by surprise) with the success and accomplishment and achievement that's come my way at the end of another term, another grueling round of final exams.

:: for letting loose, letting off steam, and laughing so hard with all my fellow students (who feel like family) as we concluded the stress-filled week with a crazy game of charades. Finding myself making a pretty darn good impression of a woolly mammoth. So fun.

Monday, May 20, 2013

morning after

Unlike most mornings, I drove him to school.
It must have rained during the night,
but I seemed to have slept through it.
I was so tired,
oh so bone weary.
And ah, these Sunday nights.
Too late to bed and wide awake a little before five.
Yet again.

I let go of the usual routine.
No walk, no run today.
The mist on the mountains
drew me in

So I made a quick dash at home
and grabbed the camera.
eager in my rush
to catch it all
before it was too late.

A seeker.
A looker.
A finder.
A lover.

Wandering around
for nearly an hour.
Up to the foothills and circling back down
once or twice.

So satisfied.
Soul satisfied
and replenished
as rest now,
at last
enters in.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Wednesday, May 15, 2013


looking: the clouds are magnificent today. Towering puffs against the vivid blue. So glad I had the camera with me in the car when I went off for a quick errand this morning. Pulling over to the side of the road for these little impromptu stops is a common occurrence for me nowadays. I'm finding that having it handy is essential when I want and need to catch these fleeting moments and beautiful scene-scapes.

listening: Fleetwood Mac

creating: someone was way too generous on Mother's Day. It's not like our old blender (which is attached to my Bosch mixer) wasn't functional. But this new one-- wow. Looking forward to creating lots of good things in the kitchen in the days and years to come.

wearing: tan T-shirt, bare feet, and brown shorts I sewed last summer.

doing: it's all about studying these days. Plopping myself on the floor in my room with my materials spread out all over. (It's a common sight.)

Tonight, part two of my anatomy final. Written comprehensive anatomy (everything we've learned since October...ehhhh.) continued next week. Earned a perfect score on Monday night's written Russian sports massage final and a 96 out of 100 points on the hands-on portion. (Just call me Olga.)

I'm very grateful that I've been able to maintain a 4.0 so far, but if that drops, I'm okay with it. I've learned that the only thing I can do is my best, and if my family's needs take precedence, I know where my priorities are and should be.

Excited for next terms class offerings: Acupressure, trigger point, and pathology. Good stuff.

eating: lunch was leftover minestrone from the pot I took over to my parents yesterday afternoon. Rice crackers, hummus, and the last of this morning's green smoothie.

homekeeping: with everything that's been going on, the house and garden have been neglected. Just trying to get by with the basics. And... the garden... sigh. I haven't even started getting the beds tilled and weeded and readied. Hopefully, this weekend we can get out and get going.

reading: not a lot of time for recreational reading as I'd like, but I've been (so far) enjoying The Elegance of the Hedgehog, as well as pouring over a few photography books I picked up at the library.

going: leaving in a bit to my school library volunteer job.

wishing and dreaming: oh how I'd love to go somewhere. To get away and see new things, new places. To have a retreat. To have a vacation, a break from it all. Most summers allow time for those types of things, but with my school demands, there will be no break in sight until after mid October when I graduate. It'll all be worth it, though. Thinking that Fridays will be reserved and cherished as the day for little day trips and excursions.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013


muscles, tendons, tissue, bones
what is its name
where is it located
what does it attach to
what happens when you do this
what happens when you do that
all stored away and tested upon
lined up in her mind and waiting
waiting until
another line forms
they line up outside the door
then it's time
others have already been given the healing touch
but not like this
not lined up like they are now
with expectations set
because they are exchanging
some of what they have stored up
for some of what she has stored up
Max is first
all that healing
lined up and waiting
is now
~Keith Crofts

Thursday, May 9, 2013

thursday morning notes

It's a beautiful morning out. I went for a walk a little bit ago so I know. Clear and sunny and absolutely perfect after a few overnights of rain and damp. The mourning dove's cooing calls are heard most spring and summer mornings.  I love to listen to that sweet sound. It's a comfort. They perch on the treetops and often on the fireplace flues on our peaked rooftop. When they sit out there and I am inside here, it just comes down the chimney like these birds are right somewhere in the house.

I rose just after five thirty to these birdsong sounds and just a touch of sun coming over the mountains to the east. I lingered in bed for a bit and then made my way down, calling for the boys to get up. I started the routine. Breakfast to start. Table to set. Lunches to pack. Even went above and beyond and made his. He was gratefully surprised. I stirred the pot of Malto-Meal and Isaac knew I had really listened, remembered yesterday his request and pleas.

In between getting him out the door and breakfast clean up, I sat down and wrote her a letter to stick in the package. I could have typed it-- it would have been faster-- but there's just something so personal, so human about receiving the gift (truly, it is a gift. A gift of time, of slow, of "I care"...) of a long, multiple-paged handwritten letter. Something that's become almost old fashioned in this day and age of emails and word processors. And I've found that these little relics of sentiment in the form of cards and letters and notes are worth tucking away in their own special box which I've set aside for just that purpose.

These days have been full days. Between the typical demands of family and school, (I'm approaching term finals this next week and the following week. Lots of studying to do between now and then.) I've been spending these last few mornings and afternoons at the hospital with my mom who underwent surgery on Monday. She's home now. And we're all happy about that. Grateful that my sister flew in yesterday and will be there at her side for the next few weeks to offer 24 hour after-care.

Just a little memorable incident to share while I was at the hospital yesterday. I almost passed out, blacked out, or fainted. Whatever you want to call it. There I was, standing beside her as she sat on the side of the bed while a procedure was being done to correct and get rid of a terrible headache that was the result of her epidural anaesthesia during surgery. I was holding her hand, soothing and telling her to breathe and saying how it was okay. Then, before I knew it, my right eye started scrunching up, my ears started to ring, the sounds around me began to be muffled. My environment dimming. I was ready to go down. Thankfully, the nurse standing next to me looked at me, noticed my "white as the sheet on your mom's bed" coloring and had me sit on a chair with my head down.

Totally out of the blue experience as I don't usually get queasy with these kinds of medical situations, and I wasn't feeling anxious at all, really, about the whole thing. But as I think about it, maybe it was something in my subconscious about my own epidural birthing experiences and fears. Anyway, I was left with such a weird, strange, tired and head-achy feeling that lingered throughout the rest of the day.

But as far as today goes, everything seems to be just peachy. Hope your day goes that way, too!

Thanks for stopping by.