Monday, August 11, 2014
enjoying:: this morning's 10 mile bike ride. my old "long run" route. go me.
feeling:: it's starting to hit me that sam is really leaving. these waves of emptiness and longing coming and going since yesterday. a real physical, aching pain in my chest. warm tears on the verge. with this being a yearly thing now with these kids (three years straight) you'd think it would get easier. it doesn't.
going:: to give isaac his promised massage. it's his birthday week.
eating:: last night's dinner was my breakfast. taco-style quinoa, black beans, tomato, onions and garlic over lettuce greens. fresh mango salsa and sliced avocado over top.
working:: so grateful that after not doing any client massages since march, i can still do this work. that i still have what it takes. that i still have it in me. i was afraid i'd be rusty after all this time. wondering if i would still enjoy and find fulfillment in my work as a massage therapist. friday's appointment calmed all my worries and insecurities. again, i realized that i love what i do. i love being able to make a real, tangible difference in other's lives. i missed, so much, the quiet, calm, and total focus that comes over me in a session. giving a good massage, for me, is like performing a meditation; a beautiful dance, if you will. this aspect of the work provides me with an incredible sense of peace.
making:: the other night i sat down to the sewing machine. sam's pants to hem. "i love it when you sew, mom," isaac said. "it's just so cozy here when you do." and then with a smile on his face, he asked if i could make him a new pillowcase for his birthday.
kitchen wise, i've been having fun experimenting in the gluten-free baking world. (oh, by the way, the tests came back negative for keith and the kids. a big sigh of relief.) this afternoon i made a plum crumble and some crackers. sunday, some really good chocolate chip cookies. everything, so far, has been really delicious.
i'll be spending a lot of time in the kitchen this week. another house full on sunday in honor of sam leaving next wednesday for mexico.
the swallows of kabul.
something more: excavating your authentic self
listening:: bob marley