yesterday was a hard day.
in more ways than one.
uncontrolled and spilling
at another follow-up at the foot doc.
numbing disbelief at the news of another stress fracture.
(third one this year while recovering from these two surgeries on my foot.)
the ultrasound, too, dashing my hopes
of improvement and recovery.
torrents of hot tears spilled,
and why why whys
later alone here at home
as i try to muster up what it takes,
facing, accepting once again,
the continued disappointment and struggle
that's been such a theme of my life
with the help of his hope and his joy,
we gently place the ornaments on the tree
and read stories and make christmas plans
all cozy and snuggled close
in my bed.
and he looks at me in the eyes,
and with a tight squeeze,
wisely says to me,
don't let it get you down, mom.
smiling brightly with a simple, yet profound
don't worry, be happy.
and once again i realize with his gentle reminder
that, yes, i can and i will find joy.
there's always, always