Thursday, December 4, 2014

finding joy:: even on the the hard days




yesterday was a hard day.
in more ways than one.
tears surfacing
uncontrolled and spilling
at another follow-up at the foot doc.
numbing disbelief at the news of another stress fracture.
(third one this year while recovering from these two surgeries on my foot.)
the ultrasound, too, dashing my hopes
of improvement and recovery.
torrents of hot tears spilled,
and why why whys
later alone here at home
as i try to muster up what it takes,
facing, accepting once again,
the continued disappointment and struggle
that's been such a theme of my life
this year.

but later,
with the help of his hope and his joy,
we gently place the ornaments on the tree
and read stories and make christmas plans
all cozy and snuggled close
together
in my bed.

and he looks at me in the eyes,
and with a tight squeeze,
wisely says to me,
don't let it get you down, mom.
smiling brightly with a simple, yet profound
don't worry, be happy.

and once again i realize with his gentle reminder
that, yes, i can and i will find joy.
there's always, always
joy.



5 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear this. I had a daughter say a similar line of encouragement to me the other day while I struggle with a physical issue...her eyes were so sad, but it helped me to stiffen up my resolve instead of pitying myself which I can do if I'm not careful. Praying for healing, Emily

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  2. Anything at all, I'm here for you.

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  3. Oh Emily; I'm so sad to hear this. Damn! What a sweet little boy you have, such sweet words. He's right, you will get through this. Somehow my dear, somehow.

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  4. All good thoughts and prayers for ease and healing for you, M'Dear.

    How I wish you and that dear young man could be here next weekend to ride the Polar Express with us---we'd all help you gently, gently up the train steps, get you settled with comfy cushions and a foot-rest beside a window, and off we'd go---to the North Pole, with cocoa and cookies on the way.

    Be sure and wear your jammies, and it will be a wonderful ride.

    Just the imagining of wonderfuls does so much to alleviate the IS at times, doesn't it? And tonight, perhaps a together-watching of Captain Hook and Peter Pan, LIVE, will kindle the imagination to other lovely times and places, where we can all soar away, above our burdens, and straight on til morning.

    r

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  5. I love your words and am sorry for your pain. I too have started my homeschooling journey (just this year!) and am loving it. Thank you for your inspiration.

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