Abide With Me

Ageless Woman?

2012-03-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Was totally wowed this morning when I saw this news clip interview featuring an incredibly vibrant and beautiful 70 year old woman who eats a diet of raw plant foods. Unbelievable, but not really when I can see for myself the benefits of incorporating more raw fruits and vegetables into my eating.

More and more I think it's possible to slow down and even reverse the aging process with our food choices- not just in our appearance- but in the quality of our lives. The more important of the two in my view.

Thought it was worth sharing with you all.

21 years

2012-03-05T11:53:00.001-07:00

a man now

but still,

my child

faith,

hope,

and charity

you,

my greatest teacher

what it means to love

Happy Birthday, Gary

loving you forever and ever,

xo Mom

gratitude sunday

2012-03-04T12:04:00.000-07:00

~celebrating him this weekend and through tomorrow.
Double date to see The Iron Lady.
(This son who watches the real Margaret Thatcher House of Common debates on Youtube for entertainment.)
Thai style family dinner out, along with Mama and Papa, last night.
Honoring, happily, his roast beef and mashed potato requested dinner this evening.
His last birthday at home a for a while.

~kitchen creation beauty

~her talent recognized
~a return to household health

~light on freshly washed kitchen linen
~holding her close on my lap

~green growth

~sunshine and birdsong

Welcome March

2012-03-01T16:49:00.002-07:00

We're inching a little closer to spring. Can you feel it where you are?

We've actually had some cold and snowy weather here these last few days. I don't mind it, knowing that we really did have such a mild winter. It is nice, however, to think about a new month and a new season.

There are signs of change all around if you look close enough. I love bringing bits of it inside for our seasonal corner.

This is one of my favorite months of the year. A quiet sense of anticipation. Stirrings of rebirth.

Just yesterday I was thinking how blessed we've been not to have experienced hardly any sickness in our family this winter. It seems that whenever I think that, wouldn't you know it, the next day there's a turn for the worse.

Eliza and Isaac both stayed home from school today with slight fevers and coughs. I've been on standby providing backrubs and gentle foods. Toast, applesauce with cinnamon, mashed potatoes, cups of cool juice.

Mother-love.

A quiet, cozy day at home this first day of March.

a take-yourself-on-a-date day

2012-02-29T20:12:00.002-07:00

A little too much alone-ness during the day.
A little too much Bleak House viewing starting to transfer into bleak house feeling in real life.

I always like these classic book- to- film BBC pieces, and honestly, I could have stayed home and been pretty much content to watch this all day long, but this morning I realized that I really needed to get out of the house. Kind of had to force myself.

So I took myself on a date.

This wasn't a typical errand day. Although I did pick up some things I needed such as a few new scouting materials (yes, I just got put into Wolf Den mother- mode. Three boys = the third time doing this gig. ), a stop at the craft store to locate a much needed two tiered fruit stand, and a finally, a stop at the library to pick up the Gandhi DVD for Sam to watch tonight for his history class.

In between all these errands was my time for rejuvenation, cultural enrichment, and boredom busting. Yay!

I browsed at the antique mall. Nothing caught my eye enough for a purchase, but I did see some beautiful old samplers from the 1800's. I like the history of it all and like to think of the women who wore those fur coats and the little children whose feet wore those tiny leather shoes all lined up in a row in the display case.

Since all my outing destinations were in the same neighborhood, and since it was lunch time, I thought I'd go a little out of my comfort zone and head to the Krishna temple where they serve a $5 all you can eat vegetarian buffet. That was interesting. I love to try new things. It was fun to browse the gift shop, as well. This took me down memory lane to the times when I was a young girl and our Uncle Gene would bring back so many items for us from India where he resided. I think I'll head down there again when it gets warmer. I'd love to get a few of those billowy cotton skirts to wear with my sandals this summer.

Next stop was the art museum. I thought it would be fun to see the All-State Art Show featuring local and talented high school art students. Another trip down memory lane. Once upon a time I, too, had a painting shown in this exhibit. Did you know that I was an artist in my day? Then studied art in college? Viewing art always nourishes my soul in a way I can't express in words.

I came home with a happier disposition. And happier still when Keith showed up home tonight with a lovely pot of purple hyacinths and a gift subscription to Netflix.

I wish you could be here and smell spring.

Before I sign off, here's my question to you.

Would you feel comfortable having a day like mine? How would it feel for you to do things like this by yourself? Just for pleasure.

Things like meandering through a museum by yourself. Going to a movie alone. (I've done that a few times.) Going out to eat solo. Going on a hike. Going to a play or a concert. Kind of like a field trip for adults, you know?

Sure, it's nice to share these experiences and outings with another. But when you are alone most days like I am, I do think it's necessary and important to feel ease and enjoyment just being with ourselves.

Maybe you can try it for yourself, too.

bathtub haiku

2012-02-27T10:25:00.001-07:00

soaking in the tub
eating this cereal bowl
meditation place

'round here

2012-02-25T17:09:00.006-07:00

:: all kinds of kitchen creations going on today. fresh salsa. hummus. black bean spread. baked no fat tortilla chips. brown rice in my new rice cooker. i think it's really going to be a life saver. roasted veggies to die for.

:: menu planning for the next week. loving my whole foods course. no surprise. delving into hunky triathloner vegan firefighter's Engine 2 Diet book. that guy from Forks Over Knives. good stuff here and new ideas.

:: hearing the door click after midnight my eyes pop open. his steps heard walking slowly up the stairs. are you awake, mom? he tells me of his "perfect day". saudi prince guest speaker university lecture, followed by a stroll through the new islamic art exhibit. his thing, and how. wish i could have tagged along. so glad he knows i will share in his joy. that i'm always here to listen. to talk.

:: she works secluded in her studio. painting her heart out.

:: it's been so long she says.

:: exciting, maybe even a crisis, hermit crab molting event.

:: they eat some salsa. then get to work making a terrarium. just for fun.

:: date night japanese food last night. i like sushi, but only the veggie kind. he doesn't go for it. like how i used to be.

:: after thinking it over for so long and since he's had his two back surgeries and still deals with the pain and doesn't get much sleep and since my hips ache all the time and i wake up with my shoulders sore. we are getting old i think. decided it might be the time to get a new mattress. one of those tempurpedic fancy ones. i think of what else all that money could go for, but i think it's going to be worth it. so excited to hit the sack tonight.

:: if you spend so much money, you'll receive a $200 gift card incentive. can't beat that. so we go for it and get a new 24 inch flat panel t.v. for our room. whoo hoo. grandma fay's twenty year old 13 incher sure got a lot of good use. i keep telling the kids that one of these days, our other grandma fay 1973 (yes, it still works after almost 40 years) console- a swiveling classic piece of furniture- will be replaced. they're embarrassed to have friends over. that's a serious factor to consider. its days are numbered.

To Be A Woman

2012-02-22T15:42:00.007-07:00

~That I share partnership with God in creating new life. That this other body could be enveloped, nourished, and protected inside my own. That I can bear fruit. Stretching, growing, accommodating, and birthing in such a miraculous way.
That I'm designed and have been blessed to take part in this wonder.

~That I'm created to provide the perfect sustenance formed from my own body fluids to give nourishment to another.
Allowing an intimacy so perfect, pure, and beautiful.

~That as a mother, I have the ability and opportunity to impact, teach, and mold another's character, another's soul more than any other influence in the world.

This is powerful.

~That my love and sacrifice for my children is second only to the love of God.

This is holy.

~That as woman, I've been endowed with the gift of nurturing, empathy, and compassion. To reach out to not only my own, but to all and any who may be in need or who may be suffering.

That I can act on my good intentions.

~That as woman, I'm blessed with a heightened sense of intuition.

~That as a descendant daughter of our first Mother Eve, I am allowed to participate in her role as "Mother of all Living".

I represent, create, and sustain life.

~That I can take my place in a line of strong, brave, and wise women. That I can look to them for strength, for example, for inspiration.

Such is my heritage.

~That I don't have to prove myself, compete, or fight for power or influence in the world or society at large. I have a dignified confidence, quietly going about doing good and contributing to society at all levels or any sphere or occupation I choose.

~That this body can be soft, smooth, and curvaceous and at the same time formed with muscles lean, hard, powerful, and strong.

~That I have the freedom in my appearance for variety, while staying feminine at the same time. To have a long mane of hair or cut short. To put on a dress, a skirt, or jeans and a baseball cap whenever I feel like it.

~That as a girl, my choice of activity can vary between shooting baskets and playing a game of touch football with the guys or baking cookies and playing pretend with dolls.

~That as a woman, I have the freedom and the ease to display my feelings openly. That I can cry if I'm happy or cry if I'm sad. That I can show my affection physically for another- man, woman, or child- with a hug, a touch on the arm, or verbalize aloud with an honest, from the heart "I love you".

~That I can say that something is "sweet" or "cute" and get away with it.

~That I have the power to endure more than I think I can.

~That as mother, I'm the one they turn to first. The one they gravitate toward. The one they want to sit by, talk to first on the phone, to snuggle on the bed with.

~That in one day's time, these hands of a woman can:

wipe the sweat off her own face, knead a loaf of bread, play a game or hold a book with a child, envelop another in a tight hug, clean a toilet bowl, fold clean laundry, chop vegetables, dial a phone to make a happy birthday call, wash a body, type on a computer keyboard, fold in prayer.

switcharoo snafu

2012-02-21T14:57:00.001-07:00

Can you tell the difference?

(Psss. It's the suds.)

I guess Renee inspired me to make a little more pretty in the kitchen.

Decided to get rid of that unsightly plastic bottle of dish soap and transfer it into a lovely glass decanter. I'd already done that with the olive oil that sits corralled with the salt and pepper next to the stove.

Well, what happened next is too funny not to share. (At least I think it's a little humorous.)

Gary has all but "moved" home. Sleeping on the couch and hanging out when he's not working or going to school or having fun with Ivana.

This man-son of mine doesn't like to shave. He lets the stubble go for as long as he can. I try to not "sweat the small stuff" and let it bug me, but I really do empathize. Reason is because of his skin being so sensitive. Shaving just plain hurts and gives him a bad rash.

He's found a trick, though. A little olive oil rubbed on before he starts with the razor seems to help. So one morning, here, he got a little bowl filled in the kitchen and made his way to the bathroom. Only when he started rubbing the olive oil in, it started sudsing. What in the heck? Come to find out, it was a mix up with the dish soap.

And boy did I hear about it.

And then there's my own little snafu.

Sunday evening, Jane's friend Franciska came over for dinner. Checking my kitchen out, checking me out, so attentive and interested in every thing in sight. And there I was in all my glory, kind of a cocky showing off of all my cooking skills while trying to entertain her with my charming hostess chatter and laughter. I pulled the wok and the skillet out, ready to cook up the veg stir fry and the potato, kale, and mushroom main dish. I nonchalantly drizzled a little bit of "olive oil" in those pans and threw in some garlic. (Because that's just what you do with olive oil, right?) Then, all the sudden, our attention turns to the putrid, burning smell coming from those pans. With me thinking, "Why in the world is that olive oil so gel-like, and turning white?" It was totally, like, gag me with a spoon, bad. That choking (garlic) "soapy" air gave it all away.

Wrong bottle, Em.

Well, we all got a good laugh. Especially me. I'm such a ditz, sometimes.

Lessons learned:

1. Making pretty can sometimes backfire.

2. Better get out the food coloring for the dishsoap.

3. We all have flops.

4. Sometimes you just have to eat that humble pie and laugh at yourself.

funday monday

2012-02-20T17:23:00.000-07:00

Been itching to do something fun with the gang.

Glad we had this Presiden'ts Day holiday with everybody off.

Satistfied my Cafe Rio cravings.

I never get tired of this salad.

For a big family, it's usually the first choice.

Fresh, and a bargain besides.

Glad our sweet little Portuguese friend Mariana could join us.
I just love her.

Midterm pressures led the big college kids scattered.

What about bowling?

Hey, that's a good idea.

Can't remember the last time.

Thank goodness for bumpers.

A stop for ice cream at Sub Zero

(rice milk and agave for me. hard to come by.)

and a little book browsing at Barnes and Noble

topped off the day just fine.

Time spent together.

Keeping us centered.

to mellow out

2012-02-18T19:16:00.000-07:00

I like this kind of day. In fact, I like this kind of weekend, don't you? These extra long ones are so nice. Not a lot going on. Well, maybe. Trying to think of something fun to do with the kids on Monday.

I woke up early this morning, and as is typical, I tried to go back to sleep. Maybe caught an extra half hour or so. Decided to catch up on some emails.

This is exciting:

Received an email yesterday from an editor at Parents Magazine. Said they would like to use my Lego party invitation in their "birthday party round-up" May edition. This totally caught me off guard, but you can bet your buttons that it brought some excitement this way. (Thank you, Pinterest for all the traffic!)Enough for a Facebook status, even. We'll see how things pan out.

I waited until the sun was out this morning before I went off running. Had to cut it short because Heidi, the Masseuse Woman Extraordinaire was coming over with her table to give me a much needed massage. My hips are giving me problems. Again. She couldn't believe how tight. As well as the psoas. Did you know that they start in the stomach area and run down the legs? Thank goodness she works wonders. I'm calling her again next month.

Since that massage, I've been in chill-mode. It's good place to be.

A little insert here: I guess it shows on my face because they all told me tonight how pretty I look today. My face. My skin. My hair. My style(!) Gee whiz. I guess I need to get a massage more often.

Took Isaac with me to run a few errands and make a pit stop at the library. Thinking of what I'll make tomorrow when they'll all come home for dinner. Jane's bringing a friend who's excited to "go vegan". Hope she doesn't leave disappointed.

Looking forward now to putting on my flannel nightie and watching a movie(s) in bed.

Enjoy the weekend, friends.

Tchau, and talk to you later.

I'm...

2012-02-16T17:13:00.001-07:00

Listening: Somewhere in Time soundtrack on Grooveshark. So romantic I want to die.

Wearing: chocolate cable knit sweater, khakis, brown leather Lands' End clogs, no make-up day.

Drinking: great big mug of cocoa last night in bed. Homemade mix made with powdered coconut milk. Yum for tums.

Eating: pre-run breakfast was banana peach smoothie, half of Isaac's sprouted English muffin he left on his plate. Mid morning snack was bowl of marinated veggies from last night's dinner. Lunch was brown rice with braised garlicky kale, half an orange.

In the kitchen: baked up some banana bread to use up a bunch of those ripening bananas on the counter and also a batch of sweet potato hummus from one of my fave blogs. Really good and very interesting.

Reading: Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy. I'm into him.

In the mail: never ending stream of college recruiting letters coming in for Sam these days (he's a high school Sophomore) because of his high PSAT score. With all this attention, as well as the influx of emails... well, we'll just say he's a little overwhelmed. I think it's cool.

Noticing: can't stop thinking about this cozy home. Appealing on so many levels.

Wishing: I could go somewhere. Leave town. See the world. Have an adventure. Like really, really bad. Maybe something along these lines. If I'd go so far. (I think I could.)

Joy Bringer: Having her come over and visit this afternoon. How she brought me a veggie sandwich and a chocolate, spinach, banana, and avocado shake. (Really good, by the way.) Her sitting down on the couch and us just talking like such good friends as we are. And me going later to take one of the loaves and a card to a neighbor who's recently lost her mother.

Visiting is good for the soul.

Heart of Living

2012-02-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

At first, they didn't come
not the running
not the words
not the photos

But the effort was different
it came
not all at once
but that's the way effort is

It might not look like much
when it's first pulled out
but those that do the pulling
they know

They know how hard it can be
to take that first step
to write that first word
to frame that first photo

That is, the first one that counts...
the first step beyond the one where you were out of breath
the first word beyond the one where you were out of words
the first photo beyond the one where you were out of seeing
what was there

What power lay hidden in your moving
What poetry lay hidden in your writing
What beauty lay hidden in your viewing

Move, write, view
Run, express, see
Experience, create, share
Dig, stretch, lift
Learn, Love, Live
...it is a gift

~Keith
February 14, 2012

Loving

2012-02-14T13:11:00.000-07:00

That's what it's all about.

Glad everyone was home Sunday so we could have a little party.

...With a little chocolate on the side.

Crepes are the Valentine tradition around here.

This morning, I woke up to this beauty.

Making breakfast just a little more special with strawberry smoothies and pink heart-shaped pancakes.

His Valentine surprise for me...

And mine for him.

(a companion for the one I made him last year.)

Hope your day is lovely!

xo

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

2012-02-12T14:42:00.001-07:00

:: an invitation Friday night to join her for a university performance of The Snow Queen. A requirement for her ballet class that we were both very happy to fulfill. Of course, that meant a pre-show dinner (my treat) and the usual happy mother-daughter girl talk. So grateful for this relationship we share.

:: she's decided to make use of that guitar of mine, gathering dust in the music room corner. Determined that she can teach herself some chords and create some beauty this way. Now, it's all tuned up and we're loving the strumming sounds coming up from her room.

:: decided that addictive is the right word for those brownie balls, so time was set aside yesterday afternoon to fill a bag full for the freezer. Tried my hand with some oatmeal maple ones, as well, to go along with an apron for a special young woman's birthday.

:: those two sons of mine, the oldest and the youngest, spending most of the day together yesterday on the floor sorting the vast amount of Lego. Tears filling my eyes, watching them together and thinking about the kind of friendship they would have had if both were at the age Isaac is now. Both of them in glasses, all the same interests. So perfect for each other. Then I realized what a gift they do have in each other right now. That they do have an eternal love and friendship that has and always will be there.

:: Valentine dinner date for the two of us. Despite the crowd and the nearly one hour wait for our food to finally come to the table. Glad knowing that we can find joy just being together, walking through the empty campus, viewing an international cinema documentary about modern day Chinese Buddhist hermit monks. Our idea of romance, yes.

:: for a rainy- no where to go- Sunday.

:: all snuggled in the bed with a headache and tummy troubled little boy. He reads his book and I read mine. Finished Daddy Long Legs downloaded on my handy Kindle (for free) in one sitting this morning. This book is such a delight- a must read if you haven't!

:: bits of fresh green growth spotted here and there. The stirrings of spring?

:: I think I'll head now into the kitchen and make up another Very Berry Chocolate Chip Cobbler (Vegan Pie in the Sky). It's that kind of day.

book talk (with a little brownie-bite ball on the side)

2012-02-09T21:48:00.002-07:00

I changed my mind.

I vowed never to get one of those new fangled techno-pad readers. Reading that way just didn't seem natural. I couldn't imagine the experience -one that I absolutely love- differently: That delicious sensory experience that comes with holding a tangible book in one's hands. The feel of the paper, the smell of a book. Being able to underline, jot down notes, dog tag. A book's ability to store memories of time, place, and emotion; when, where and why you read what you read.

Real books have character.

Well, looks like you can teach an old dog new tricks. (Sort of.)

Let me back up a little.

Do you know, it was the first time in over twenty years that I, solely, (the stay at home mom all these many, many years) got paid real money for a project I submitted an article to recently. You should have seen the smile on my face, this ah-ha moment when, standing in the shower, I realized this grand achievement. Even though I gladly offered it as a service, it was kind of a nice feeling to know that this contribution I worked on was worth something in a monetary kind of way.

I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do with this money. I just didn't want it to go toward groceries or pay a bill. It was kind of a special moment for me; one that I thought was worth celebrating, if you can imagine.

My parents each got Kindles for Christmas. Since then, I've been toying around with the idea of having one for myself. Could I really succumb? The rational: 1. I could save money on books. Especially cookbooks. 2. I'm running out of shelves. 3. I'm actually feeling the need to downsize my possessions. All the stuff is kind of bugging me.

Keith urged me to do it. I might as well get the Fire, he said. Me (a little guilty) justifying: "This will be my Valentine's okay? Can it be for both of us?". (Note to Jennifer: I bought that $2.99 Indian vegan cookbook you raved about the other day! So excited.) It's fun and handy in so many ways, but believe me, I'm still staying with tradition in reading novels as much as I can the old fashioned, real book way.

So besides getting acquainted with my new toy today, I made these really yummy brownie-bite balls. I'm so into chocolate these days. (Heck, it's February.)Tastes just like the real thing, only no guilt here. We all couldn't believe how easy and how totally brownie-ish they are. Just ground walnuts, dates, cocoa powder, and a little vanilla, water, and salt. I couldn't help but roll them in coconut. Recipe here. (I had to add more dates. Not sure why.)

He begged me to take him to the library this afternoon. Not only was he out of books, but it was chess day.

Our beloved library is like a second home to us. We've made weekly trips here since Gary (who'll be 21 next month) was a baby.

I think we could pay for a new wing with all the late fees we've accrued over the years.

Preparing Food With Love: Cooking As Ministry

2012-02-08T10:35:00.002-07:00

Food is so much more than providing sustenance to a body. So much more than filling a belly.

It's about nourishing a soul.

I was reminded of this yesterday. An idea that I've always believed in with my whole heart, but often forget.

I spend a lot of my time and energies in the kitchen. It's something I don't have to do (and I tell my family that, sometimes), but feel impelled to. It's a big part of my life's calling. A talent and a gift I'm grateful to have been blessed with: The keeper of the home. The nourisher. The nurturer.

I want to give the best. And that means the healthiest, the most beautiful, the most sustaining, the most comforting food I can offer.

This job is not easy. It means work. A sacrifice in many ways. Some days I wonder if the effort I give is worth it, if it matters.

Monday is always my big kitchen work day. I made granola. I made tortillas. I made energy bars. That night I was back to make a big pot of curry for dinner. It was was well liked, but I ended up with a ton of leftovers. Wondering how and if they'd get eaten.

Sweet Ivana came over and I told her about what I had made and would she like to take a jar home? As I was in the process of doing so, she started to cry. A big cry. She could hardly express how much she loves the food I make and share with her. How she loves to come to our home for dinner. That what I've done and what I do means so much to her.

I was touched to the core.

Maybe what I do does matter.

And then there was yesterday.

I had been given the opportunity to bring a meal over to my friend who is battling cancer. A chance to feed her sweet family. I've been feeling so inadequate in not knowing how I could help her. Wishing I could just take this all away, but knowing I can't.

I do know that feeding them is something I can do. Something I'm good at.

So yesterday I spent another day in the kitchen. Such a strong feeling all day long that what I was engaged in was holy work. I was ministering with food. It made me so happy. I almost felt a reverence with each vegetable I chopped, each kneading of the dough, each stir of the pot. Every movement, every action, every step filled with thoughts of them, along with a deep intention, sent to each of their spirits of love and peace and joy.

Later on in the day, Isaac's friend came over after school. I fed them each a snack of apples and peanut butter on their own little plates and later when his mother came inside to pick him up, she wondered about all the amazing smells coming from the kitchen. They left happily with a bread stick to share and said, "Your house is always so homey."

All of this reminding me again (just when I needed the reminder, too) with the sense that my work in the kitchen is the heart of my home. Almost the heart of my life. And it does matter. Truly.

Friends, if you ever forget this, if you, like I do sometimes, get caught up in the mundane and the drudgery, please remember that preparing and sharing food has so much power for good in this world. Not only as a way to bless your own, but others beyond the family circle who need a bit of comfort and nurturing.

And we all need that, don't we?

And do you know what? The one that will really be nourished the most is you. The deep- down- in- your- heart knowing that the sharing and serving of love this way; those gifts of food you provide and offer with your heart and your hands- all of it will bring such a sense of fulfillment and happiness to your soul.

I hope you can feel this like I did yesterday.

"Puppy Love"... And Other Celebrity Crushes

2012-02-06T22:25:00.003-07:00

As I was driving to pick up kids this afternoon, I turned on the local news radio station and listened to the host tell about her "first love". She was a child of the 70's and had a major crush on Michael Jackson.

The wheels started turning in my mind:

Here was something I could blog about! Something to get me out of my writing slump!

I thought about my own first love. It was Donny Osmond. How could it not be?

I loved everything about him. I remember how envious I was of my friend's Barbie Donny. With his purple socks and all. I guess I loved him so much that I wrote him a fan letter (Mom, why didn't you mail this thing?) declaring my love. My devotion evident with purple ink you may notice.

Well, this is timely, with Valentine's Day just around the corner. The rest of my post is along similar lines. More celebrity crushes from yours truly.

That being said, let me remind you that:

This is fluff.
A bit of silliness.
Kinda stupid.
But it's fun.
It's a woman thing. (Husbands aren't allowed celebrity crushes.)

And yes, I really do love my husband.

~Cary Grant
(no duh)

~Gary Cooper
(especially good in Sergeant York. Such humble sweetness.)

~Anthony Hopkins
(yes to the handsome intellectual C.S. "Jack" Lewis. Hannibal Lector a definite no.)

~Mr. Rogers
(yes, I know what you are thinking- with those eyes of yours rolling dramatically:
"A crush, Emily? Seriously."
Oh how I love this man. To each her own.)

~Gabriel Byrne
(the charming Professor Bhaer from my favorite movie adaptation of Little Women)

~Steve Carell
(aka Michael Scott. Should I be alarmed?)

~Timothy Dalton
(as the mysterious and very passionate Mr. Rochester)

now, with this latest version of Jane Eyre,
it might be a toss up.

~Jimmy Stewart
(what's not to like about this genuine, sweet soul?)

~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

(a respected leader in my church whose engaging sincerity and down-to-earth personality comes through in each and every one of his thoughtful sermons; all of which I love and look forward to. Gary and I were lucky to have met him and his darling wife one afternoon a few years ago in a local hotel restaurant. Striking was the word that first came to mind...

Go here for an uplift and you'll see what I'm talking about.)

sunday, rest day

2012-02-05T21:20:00.001-07:00

I loved having her home today. It made my heart happy.

We lay on the bed together, face to face snuggled and sharing my reading spot blankie between the two of us. Her eyes, her voice filled with happiness, telling me all the joys, the opportunities, the exciting happenings of college life.

We watched a bit of Cranford together. Then decided that a snooze was beckoning us both.

Sunday restday.

The university Chinese program, which she's happily a part of (I think I shared before that she's majoring in Chinese and is planning on doing a study abroad there, yes?), hosted a group of Beijing high school students Friday evening, eating dinner together and later, enjoying a performance of the amazing Peking Acrobats.

Jane and a little fourteen year old became instant friends. This sweet girl told her (in all a mix of Jane's Chinese and her English) how she never knew that the sky was so blue, so unbelievably blue, until that afternoon when they arrived here in Utah. Sad to think that all she knows is urban gray.

How she couldn't get over these snowy, majestic mountains that surround this valley. This beauty that is sometimes taken for granted. Yet knowing and remembering how lost and vulnerable I feel without their grounding presence.

So nice to have everyone home, gathering around the table for dinner. The Superbowl has never been a draw for our family. Just your quiet, typical Sunday.

Which I like.

funk

2012-02-03T10:03:00.003-07:00

I've always wanted this blog to be a positive thing.
But I also want to be real and honest. Know what I mean?

The fact is, I'm in sort of a funk.

:: Maybe it's the time of year; the cold gray slump between the holidays and spring's much anticipated arrival. Maybe I might have a titch of SAD.

:: Maybe it's PMS's fault. Take for instance my relationship with chocolate this week. Between the four chocolate topped peanut butter cookies gifted to me such a cute Valentiny goodie bag- which I snarfed down (so unvegan, I know) within one hour's time and without saving any for the kids, the batch of chocolate chia pudding that wouldn't leave me alone for two days straight, the couple of chocolate-almond- banana shakes, satisfying those cravings and adding to my happiness at bedtime-- I definitely see a pattern going on here that's kind of alarming.

:: Maybe it's because Keith's been gone so much.

:: Maybe it's the fact that I'm still trying to get used to all this solitude. This silence. This alone-ness. All day, everyday: I read. I tidy. I cook. I eat. I surf the web. I watch movies.

Sigh.

I know that there are so many things I could do with all this time on my hands. Service I could do. Visits to people lonelier than I am. Long neglected projects I finally have time for. Interesting places to go by myself in the day.

But the thing is, there's no motivation. No desire. Not a whole lot of inspiration to get excited about. To blog about. To think about.

I guess I'm in a rut. A feeling I can't shake. And don't much like.

Ever been there?

But beside all my angst, there's still things to look forward to. Things to be grateful about:

1. That I didn't let out the swear word that was blasting in my mind this morning when the blenderful of pancake batter spilled all over the place, covering the countertop and floor.

2. That my kids love me. That Gary would rather live, or should I say, spend the evenings/night here than at his apartment. Which has been the case this entire week. I'm liking that. That Sam will randomly stroke my arm in the car, or come over and rub my shoulders. "Mom you're tense here." Or when Jane calls me on the phone because we're friends and she loves her mom and wants to share and knows I'll listen with my whole heart.

3. That this dog Lucy never leaves my side. As I walk across the room. Or go upstairs. I'm glad for the companionship she's providing me. Even if she's kind of a neurotic doggie.

4. That the Whole Food Kitchen Workshop I'm contributing to and participating in will get underway on Monday. (There's still time to register, friends!) Thankful for all the inspiration, community, and beauty that will be flowing my way.

5. That Keith will be coming home tonight.

6. That my 30 something year old, never been married before brother Reuben is engaged to be married this June. So happy for his happiness.

7. That Valentine's Day is on the horizon. That should be nice. Holidays and celebration days are always something to look forward to.

8. That the sun is shining this morning, with skies clear and blue and that the weekend is finally upon us.

9. That you guys are here. New friends and old. Thank you for the interest you show in my life.

xo

images of a sunday

2012-01-29T18:28:00.000-07:00

recipe follow-ups and a few whole food goodies worth mentioning

2012-01-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all your kindness, my friends. I'm so glad you guys are here. xo

I'm doing a little catch up today with Daniele's question on how I make focaccia, as well as Lisa (welcome to you and all new readers!) wanting to know a little more about that salad I had for lunch the other day.

Before I get to those, I want to share a few interesting and exciting things that have made me happy these past few weeks.

Last Thursday, my friend Monique and I went to a lecture given by local Robyn Openshaw of Green Smoothie Girl fame. I've greatly benefited and now implement her 12 Steps to Whole Foods plan/book and website and I also read her blog faithfully. However, I had yet to listen to her speak. I'm really glad I went. Although much of what she spoke was not new to me, I left there more committed and energized than ever about this path I'm on.

Before she began speaking, I was so pleased to be able to purchase two of the newest titles in her cookbook series. These two volumes are some of her reader's favorite healthy recipes. By healthy, I mean, "55% raw, 85% vegan, and 90% gluten free." I love these types of tried and true, real life people kinds of cookbooks, don't you?

To give you a little more of an idea, Volume 1 (each book 162 pages) contains: Breads, Muffins, Pancakes, Cereals, Milks & Creams, "Cheeses", Salsas, Sauces, Relishes, Cookies, Candy, Bars and Balls, Chips & Crackers, Dips & Spreads, Munchies, Smoothies, Other Drinks.

Volume 2: Main Dishes, Side Dishes, Chili, Soups, Stews, Sandwiches, Mixed Green Salads, Fruit & Veggie Salads, Pasta, Grain, & Legume Salads, Dressings, Pies, Cakes, Frostings, Frozen Treats, Puddings and Custard, Other Desserts.

You know I've been trying to get more greens into my system. So many benefits that I'm sure you're all aware of. Alkalizing and cleansing to the system. Amazing source of enzymes, vitamins, minerals, and fiber. etc, etc. Besides drinking a blender full of green smoothie most days, I've tried a few powdered greens mixed with water (sometimes in addition to or taking the place of) over the last couple of years. These have been helpful, especially, when I've run out of greens, when I'm too lazy to make a one, when it's cold and a smoothies aren't that appealing, or when traveling.

I'll be honest. These powdered green mixes taste like horse water. You either gag or need to buck up big time to gulp all this lovely nutrition down.

Until now!

I decided give Ormus Greens a try this week. I'm convinced that I'll stick with this powder. Actually pretty pleasant and palatable with a little hint of peppermint and a titch of sweet from the stevia. Not cheap, but one 1 pound package with two teaspoons a day will last quite a long time. Go here to find out more.

(Any one using this product? I'd love to know your experience or thoughts.)

Get this. Earlier this week, I came downstairs at 1:30 am and found Keith (after working, exhausted until after 10:30) sitting at the computer. He was there for hours reading all about the China Study and all the science behind everything he's heard from me.

I think he's catching on, intrigued with it all. This is beyond cool.

I've wanted to watch the documentary Forks Over Knives for a while now. I found it at Barnes and Noble this week and felt it was worth buying, as I knew I'd want to share it with others. And it was the perfect time as far as Keith is concerned. (If you live near me, I'd love to lend it, or you can get it off Netflix.)

Let me just tell you, you MUST see this film if you care about your health. All the science, in an engaging, easy to understand format behind the whole foods- plant based diet hoopla. Documenting real people whose diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, obesity, and even cancer have been reversed through following this lifestyle. So interesting and so well done that Eliza and even Isaac (and my Wisconsin sister Sara, too) enjoyed it with me. (They are on the bandwagon!)

Anyone seen this? Thoughts?

Okay, now on to those recipes.

I've used this versatile bread stick dough for years and years. I discovered that it made excellent fococcia. I tend to make this more often in the summer- so good with our garden tomatoes and fresh herbs- but once in a while, it's sure nice to have this to make a pasta dinner or a soup night extra special.

Quick Bread Sticks or Focaccia Dough

1 T. yeast
1 1/2 cup warm water
1 T. honey
1 t. salt
3-4 1/2 cups flour

In a mixing bowl, mix yeast with warm water. Add salt and blend. Add flour, gradually blending until dough pulls away from sides of bowl. Divide dough into twelve balls, roll into "snakes", and place on greased cookie sheets. Brush with olive oil or butter and sprinkle with seasonings (garlic powder, paprika, parsley) and allow to rise 10-15 minutes, if desired, but not necessary. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes or until golden.

Focaccia

Use the Quick Bread Stick Dough and instead of dividing it, spread out on a small greased cookie sheet, pizza pan, or onto a sheet of parchment dusted with cornmeal (which I then transfer with a pizza peel to a hot baking stone). Let it rise for about 15 minutes and then push little holes or "dimples" into the dough. I like to chop up some fresh rosemary and garlic and put it in a little bowl of olive oil, then spread this all over top of the dough. Next, I place thinly sliced slivers of red onion and thinly sliced tomatoes on top, sprinkling over with a few tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese and a bit of kosher salt and black pepper. You may let it rise for another 15 minutes (or not) and bake at 400 for 20 minutes until golden.

A Very Spontaneous, "Whatever Sounds Good and I Have In The Fridge" Kind of Salad

~ crisp green leaf lettuce, washed and torn into bite sized pieces
~raw broccoli florets
~chopped yellow sweet bell pepper
~canned pineapple tidbits
~sliced almonds sprinkled on top
~a drizzle of yummy to make it complete

Poppy Seed Dressing

3 T. honey
1 1/2 T. poppy seed
1 t. dry mustard
1 t. sea salt
1 T. grated onion or juice
1/3 cup rice vinegar
3/4 cup olive oil

Combine everything except poppy seeds in mason jar shake together. (I like to use my handy immersion blender for dressings.) Stir in the poppy seeds.

on learning life's lessons the hard way

2012-01-25T11:38:00.001-07:00

How is it.

When all you can do is cry,
look up at that sky,
wonder,
and ask why.

This husband.

The pressure,
employer demanding seven days a week
work load
leaving before the sun rises,
walking in the door
at last
after they've all gone to bed.
The children stop asking
if Dad's coming home tonight,
and that wife of his,
wrestling herself
with that selfish, all too familiar
demon named
Resentment.
And besides
and in addition to all this,
there's his four day-gone away weekends,
relieving his sister,
assisting hospice in their care for Grandpa.
What it must mean, wiping the poop off your own father's bum,
off the bathroom floor.
But there's that reward
of a smile,
that once in a while
glimmering glimpse of recognition
of his own son.

A lesson given
of what it means to endure.
To love.
With all your might, mind, and strength.

This sister.

How could this happen,
we all wonder.
This stress fracture to her hip
and still so young.
Stuck on the couch now
internet word games, the dog
her only companions.
All she ever wanted.
To be the mom she wants to be.
To help pay the bills,
To run that race they planned,
And just when she found her joy in movement, too.
Wondering now what her future holds.

While she waits.
Learning patience
while she heals.

This son.

Such disappointment.
And all he wanted was to play with that ball,
with his friends,
on their team.
Broken dream,
first with that hand of his
being out for a month and everything.
Then the crash,
landing him hard on the hardwood
that game two weeks ago.
And now with yesterday's MRI confirming
his own stress fracture to his poor aching back,

he learns a lesson the hard way;
accepting what is given.

This friend.

My own secret admirer.
This fearless woman, pinnacle of success
epitome of strength,
beyond generous and with a heart of gold.
Yesterday's shock of the phone call and email.
I sit there on the bed,
speechless, warm lump in my throat
that I still can't seem to swallow
while she lies there in that lonely hospital room,
tube down her throat.
Body ravaged.
While this aggressive
ovarian cancer
battle rages on.
Her world turned upside down,
she searches her soul
seeking peace,
sweet relief
and most of all
fighting for her boys.

All the while
holding onto hope,
trying to fight, to not fear.
To trust Jesus.

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. " John 14:27

white

2012-01-24T16:13:00.000-07:00

"Looking Younger"... Gray Hair... Raw Foods: Is There A Connection?

2012-01-23T16:19:00.002-07:00

I always feel a little dorky taking a full blown picture of myself.

Besides a tad bit embarrassing, it ain't an easy thing to do, managing the camera with one hand and all.

Anyways, I guess I just want to prove my point.

Last night in bed, lying there in the dark, Keith broke the silence with this question he posed at me:

"Did you dye your hair recently or something?"

(Long pause from me, taking this all in.)

"What?" I respond, incredulously.

"It's just that I was looking at you tonight, and I'm noticing how much younger you look. Like your hair looks darker or something. Not as gray as it's been before." And the clincher, here:

"I'm thinking that it's probably from all that nutrition you're getting."

Seriously. (My face breaking into a wide grin.)

It got me thinking. Maybe it's the fact that he's been gone a lot. Seeing me with fresh eyes today. But, with more prodding from me, (I'm really wanting to hear more at this point!) he says that he's been noticing this for a while now.

Still thinking about what he said. Analyzing my hair, my skin a little more than usual today in the mirror.

What he's saying might actually be true.

In all my studies, I've heard it repeatedly said that eating a lot of raw foods combats the aging process for a great majority of people who follow this lifestyle. Vitamins, minerals, and enzymes from superfoods, specifically from those amazing greens that I've learned to love and crave (and seem to magnetically gravitate toward when I'm in the produce section) which feed, cleanse, and build right at the cellular level. All that fiber, sweeping out congesting toxins, easing up burdens to the liver, especially.

I've seen it for myself, intrigued, with every single person I know whose diet is plant-based and mostly raw. These folks seem to glow. Radiate. Skin supple, wrinkle-free, and firm, with what I like to call a rosy, vibrant "apple cheek" kind of smile.

I've read accounts of people miraculously being able to reverse graying hair to their natural color by drinking a lot of green juices and smoothies, cutting out dead, processed, and fried foods. Just this morning, to feed my curiosity and interest even further, I did a little more research on this topic. (Here, here if you are interested.)

For the last year and a half, I, too, have crowded in more raw plant foods and I think it's making a huge difference not only in the way I feel, but apparently, now, in the way I look.

Today's lunch. So good.

There have obviously been other factors to this, as well. Efforts in drinking more pure water. Daily exercise. Incorporating those beneficial healthy fats in my diet. Good fats such as those found in seeds and nuts, avocados, and nourishing oils like coconut, olive, and flax seed oils.

Speaking of oils, my so called "beauty regimen" is really very simple. After washing my body with soaps where the natural forming by-product glycerin is still intact, I moisturize with either a blend of sweet almond and olive oils or take a scoop of raw coconut oil I keep in a tin in my cabinet bathroom, rubbing this in all over my body, as well as my face. Yes, I eat fat and I wear fat! It's as simple as that. No need for expensive, cosmetic counter moisturizers for me.

I believe that true beauty naturally starts from the inside; manifesting itself on the outside. It's that inner peace and happiness that radiates light, comeliness, confidence, and purity.

That's the kind of beauty I'm seeking.

Hoping more than ever, that I'm on the right path to a more beautiful life and a more beautiful me.

images of a sunday

2012-01-22T20:11:00.000-07:00

~We wake up to a little bit of crusty snowfall.

~ New Christmas scarf pulled it all together.

~Dinner table made more beautiful with my favorite Indian tablecloth.

Remembering you, Uncle Gene.

~Focaccia is always welcomed around here.

~and Dad is, too.

to run in the rain

2012-01-21T16:27:00.000-07:00

she couldn't resist.

with that central bank weather phone man's
voice stating a morning
temperature of near 50 degrees,
(so unbelievably balmy for a january morn)
and noticing that it was only a drizzle,
and it just might be now or never,
she heads out the door
and down the street
mustering up what it takes
for this sort of thing.

glad that the drive
which comes and goes
is here
especially on this day.

beneath these falling droplets
now gathering in strength,
she wends her way
between, around, and through
concentric, ever widening
circle puddles.

pressing onward,
this solitary
runner
alone on the road.

who does this sort of thing?
she asks herself
as craned neck motorists
pass her by
with looks
all a mixture of
wonder,
admiration,
and pity.

altered state of consciousness
between
the music
this body
her thoughts
these surroundings.

she takes it all in:

the freshly powdered mountains
now mist-veiled.

damp earth,
bits of green
spied
among the rotting leaves,
spongy soft to her pounding feet.

this musty, yet clean
fragrance
inhaled,
breathed in
so deeply.

hillside thicket hidden,
those four noble deer
emerge into view
one by one,
unmoving
so peaceful,
they stare back
unfazed
by either her
or the rain.

exuberance,
down hill
they race
side by side
this rushing
gutter water
rivulet
leading the way.

and all at once,
before she knows it,
the familiar trail
now ending
with home view in sight,

and despite
finding herself
soaked to the skin,
sopping socks
peeling off
wet feet and all,

she feels glad,
playful like a child
once again,
energized, invigorated, refreshed
welcoming the fun,
the chance to run
in the rain.

reviewing

2012-01-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

Noticing: Rain falling. Cozy. Sound coming down through the fireplace.

Creating: Can you believe Eliza cranked this "commission" portrait of a friend at school just under an hour tonight, earning $50 in "Neider" bucks as part of their class economy. Earning "income" through payed classroom upkeep jobs, using entrepreneurial skills to barter or purchase hot ticket items like prime real estate (renting or owning preferred zones and desks) or like when Eliza bakes and sells her- especially popular with the 8th grade boys- homemade peanut butter cookies. With all this, it doesn't surprise me one bit that Eliza has a monopoly now with owning and rent payed on the most desks in the room. You go, girl!

Preparing: made a big batch of fruit and nut energy bars to stock the freezer. (Jennifer, you inspired me!) First time and everyone giving them a thumbs up. After tonight's dinner, I made a chocolate sheet cake for tomorrow's funeral luncheon. (Boyd, our dear neighbor and fellow church member who passed away last Friday.) I'll be helping in the kitchen most of the afternoon tomorrow.

Listening: Coldplay, Keane, Rachmaninoff, Dave Brubeck (Jazz pianist).

Eating: Breakfast was a big bowl of fruit before my run, followed by a sprouted English muffin topped with almond butter, banana slices, and a drizzle of maple syrup later mid morning. Lunch was leftover taco salad from last night. Dinner was veggie stir fry noodles with spicy orange sauce and a tangerine.

Exercising: nice 6 mile run this morning. Again, no jacket and discarded my beanie mid run. Excited to see Jane's status on Facebook tonight: Nothing feels more refreshing as a run in the rain. Whoo-hoo. That's my girl.

Feeling and Wishing: I could feel a little more inspiration with this here blog space. I guess I'm in a dry spell or rut, but I know it's only a phase. Not sure if anyone finds my day-to-day engaging, but I guess it's better than nothing.

Entertaining: I feel like I'm the last person on earth to see the popular Masterpiece Theater Downton Abbey series. Disappointed this afternoon that I missed seeing the first season (free online download) a day too late. Darn.

Reading: Finished my monastery book yesterday and am getting near the conclusion of The House of Tyneford I picked up last week at Costco. Not surprised that Mom also picked it up; it appealing to both of us at the same time. Isaac is putting the pressure on me big time to read the City of Ember sequel he just finished and loved. Taking him all but one day.

Loving: that I was able to have a good long talk on the phone with my sister Sara. So worried about her, as she is now bedridden with a stress fracture to her hip. No fall and she's younger than me. Busy mom of four. Wishing there was a way I could go out and help her.

thoughts on a tuesday morn

2012-01-17T08:35:00.000-07:00

It feels like a Monday, but it isn't. Everyone out the door and I'm trying to get into the rhythm of a new week.

You would think that with Saturday's "warm before the storm" and yesterday's blustery chill, something would blow in. Like a snowstorm. But with all that trying, nothing noteworthy came to fruition. Yesterday morning found me mustering the gumption to run against that cold wind. Not an easy task. Left me chilled to the bone for the rest of the day.

The kids were happy to have the day off. Basketball practice, Sunday's leftover peanut butter brownies, library books, and a rousing game of Scrabble were the order of the day. I picked Jane up later and we all enjoyed going to the dollar movie to see The Muppets movie. My own laughter rising above everyone else in that theater, it seemed.

My eyes popped open at quarter to five this morning and I made the efforts to get all ready for the pool. After making the drive to the recreation center and pulling the van into the parking stall, I realized, much to my dismay, that my bag (containing my towel, cap, and goggles- very necessary items) was left back on the couch at home. A La-La Land moment, I'm sure. I turned the car home and knew that the allotted time was lost.

Nice, though, enjoying the still quiet house and time for scripture, the paper, and one of the library books I've got going- Another World: A Retreat to the Ozarks ("...William Claassen explores day-to-day life in a small Trappist monastery..."). Just another of the many books satisfying my interest and fascination with monastic life.

Glad for what looks like a warmer, sunnier day here.

I think I'll eat my oatmeal and blueberries now. Maybe go back to bed and read for awhile. Tidy things up. Get to those dishes in the sink. Grind some wheat, make some bread, cook up some beans for the week.

Happy to be home. Choosing the simple life.

A nice and easy welcome to a new week.

a journal entry

2012-01-14T21:42:00.004-07:00

Remembered, on opening my eyes, that I was alone in the bed. Woke up several times in the night. Cozy, though, in my little nest with the extra warmth from the quilt pulled up. Not that I needed much more, as I noticed on going out to get the paper (my weather gauge, it seems) that there was no real sign of frost on the windshield.

Keith has been gone since Thursday. This pattern of him going away to assist in the care of his dad will continue now every week for the rest of the month and into the first part of February. (Yes, I'm trying to gear up.) After being on a plateau for so long, Grandpa is showing signs of steady decline; becoming weaker and weaker as the days go by. Grateful Keith has this opportunity, that his company has been so accommodating to let him work "from home" while he's there to serve his dad that he loves so much.

After some time puttering about, Isaac, who was up by this time, and I decided to head back up to my bed for some snuggles. Still on cloud nine from yesterday and asked me "if it was all a dream". (Smile)

The sun was up by this time and Eliza was, too. Time for me to head out for a run. What a beautiful day. The sun shining warmly, there was no need for a jacket. I felt strong; could have gone longer than my typical 6 miles, but I didn't feel the need today.

We've been experiencing spring like weather around these parts. I can't remember the last time it snowed, and I'm noticing the usual January white mountains aren't so white any more. It's kind of worrisome thinking what all this will mean for our water situation, but in many ways, I like it. I am concerned, though, seeing things start to bud so early.

Can't really put my finger on it, but I've just felt a tad bit on the melancholy side today. I think it started last night when I found out that our dear elderly neighbor Boyd passed away late that afternoon. This couple, along with their daughter and her family who also live on our street are neighbors that we've become close to over the years.

On seeing several cars parked in front of the home today and last night, I wasn't sure if a visit from me would be more intrusive than helpful. I went ahead and purchased a beautiful planter, communicated my concern and love with a card and dropped it off at the door to a kind grandson. Doing that made me feel good.

A bit more about the melancholy. I know that last night's basketball game really upset me. While I won't go into all the details, I will say that it makes me so sad, so upset when I hear parents berate, belittle, and yell at these poor, trying ever so hard sons of theirs. Being in the middle of that all evening, witnessing quite a bit of mean spirited sportsmanship from the visiting school, and our team getting absolutely creamed both games, well, it just made for an especially negative experience.

Good thing Sammy and I ended the night on a good note with our late night burger and a shake jaunt.

Back to today. I guess you'd call it while the cat's away, the mice will play. Not that Keith is the taskmaster as far as Saturday chores go (that's usually me). But I will say that it was a pretty laid back kind of day. The highlight being a trip to the good old library, filling our trusty cart with goodies to tide us over this long weekend.

Among other things, I picked up a book on Japanese cookery (which I devoured this afternoon.) and since I haven't been able to get sushi out of my mind for the past few weeks... well, it's obvious what would be on the menu for tonight.

We had a little version of our own Japanese party, Eliza and Isaac, and I. First time ever attempt at sushi making. Very fun. Why did I wait so long? Eliza made our favorite spicy dipping sauce to go along, and the accompanying miso soup I put together at the last minute sure hit the spot. I'm so happy that these two have turned out to be good eaters, willing to try the new and the different.

Now, as I write, they are off watching Tangled for the first time and Sam is visiting a friends house. As soon as I wrap this up, I'll head up for my own movie time.

Isaac's Big 2nd Place Spelling Bee Win!

2012-01-13T14:16:00.001-07:00

You can see it on his face.

The excitement.

The joy.

The confidence.

Each of the first through eighth grade classes sent their two winners on to today's final round.

Sixteen kids in all, seated on the stand.

Fellow students cheering them on.

All of us parents, nervous in our chairs.

Every time he steps up to that microphone, I can hardly look at him. Most of the time, head bowed and eyes closed.

All my kids each have had their thing-

whether it was geography, violin, basketball, art...

But for this my youngest child,

this is where he shines.

And it makes him happy.

And he knows he's good at it.

I sit there.

Amazed at his confidence. Breezing through those words.

How hard that would be with the whole school there and all those parent's eyes watching you.

His teacher and I sharing -we're so nervous- we're so proud- how much longer can he hold out- glances at each other.

Finally, it gets down to him, this little shrimpy 2nd grader and a big 8th grade girl.

And then he misses his word.

But you should have heard the cheers in that room

for my little man.

Especially mine.

Gratitude Wednesday

2012-01-11T14:10:00.002-07:00

:: sunlight streaming, shining down on warm pancakes.

:: drawn out science fair project completion.

:: full moon ball hovering near the horizon.

:: a fresh new bouquet of beauty-cheer gracing the kitchen table.

::his feet warming mine.

:: trailing and one second left to go three-point victory shots.

:: teenage boy son's emerging biceps.

:: not getting over this gift of love from the hands and the heart of this potter man we've never met. Believing it would make her, especially, happy. Happy enough for tears. And hearing that it did, tears filling his own eyes.

::deadline met with relief and satisfaction.

:: getting to be the Star of the Week.

:: the luxury of having time to shell the peanuts Santa left in the foot of their stockings.

:: a bursting pantry and fridge.

:: having a neighbor generously let you, freezing and sweaty and it's morning, hang out in her house for awhile because you got locked out after your run.

:: knowing that a bowl of kale for lunch will make a her a very happy camper.

:: the wonder of puffing, bubbling tortillas frying on the griddle.

:: the excitement, the dreams coming true for two college students this new semester.
Ballet for her and Hebrew for him.

:: seeing the look on his face as he walked in the door, she prepared for what would come next. Knowing in her heart, feeling real peace, that whatever would happen today, they'd be still be okay.
And when she called him at lunchtime, a mix of emotion. So grateful he still has his job after all. Making it year after year of those rounds of layoffs. Concerned and praying and hoping for all his friends and their families.

And once again, she feels so humbled getting to live such a blessed, rewarding life full of abundance and freedom and joy.

Life Skills For Children: The Whys, The Hows, and a Checklist to Think About

2012-01-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

With two of my children now becoming adults and living out of the home, it's made me think a lot about how well I've prepared them to live in the "real world". There is so much to this job of parenting, isn't there? There's no way children can not only survive, but thrive in today's world without conscientious, vigilant parenting. Not only is it our duty and obligation to provide for them, but I believe it's crucial to take a proactive approach in teaching them all they need to know to become responsible, hard working, successful adults.

Letting them feel the joy and confidence that comes from learning how to work. The satisfaction of a job well done.

Several years ago, I sat down and pulled together a list of the life skills I felt were important for my children to know. Some of these may seem obvious or a given, but surprisingly, some children never get the opportunity to learn and master some of these simple, basic skills. The things all people should know to be contributing members of a family and society at large.

As we approach this new year, I'm going to go back to this list again, thinking and planning on ways I can fit in "training sessions" with the three children we have left in our home. Not only pulling a child close to me for a teaching moment, but creating warm memories and strengthening the bonds we have with each other. Maybe this might be helpful to you, too.

Let's start where we're at. It's now or never!

~healthy food choices (choosing and evaluating)
~planning and making menus for breakfast, lunch and dinner
~using and keeping a shopping list
~shopping smart (budgeting, thrift, comparing prices)
~cooking and baking (snacks, breakfast, lunches, dinners, desserts, canning, etc.)

~setting the table
~etiquette
~good manners
~meal time clean up
~dining out

~planning a party
~tidying the house
~how to use cleaning tools and products
~the cleaning process in each room of the house
~kitchen
dishes, appliances, polishing, organization, sweeping, mopping
~bathroom
toilets, floors, mirrors, sink, bathtub
~living areas
pick up/declutter, dusting, vacuuming, trash, windows, walls
~baby and childcare
~organizing a closet/drawer
~washing, drying, folding, and ironing clothes
~using a laundromat
~cleaning out/ washing the car
~mowing the lawn

~using a trimmer
~weeding

~raking leaves

~pruning
~planting and caring for a garden
~using tools
~simple home and car repairs, maintenance
~basic sewing skills (buttons, hems, repairs)

~using public transportation (taxi, bus, subway, airplane)
~getting information from the library or Internet
~using the Yellow pages in the phone book
~talking on the telephone

~packing a suitcase

~“street smarts” (being in a big city, asking for help, finding your way around, reading a map)
~staying safe at home, when interacting with other people, Internet, etc.
~fire, emergency, and earthquake safety and preparedness
~understanding healthy relationships/respect for others
~sex education
~giving a speech or talk
~talking to adults or strangers or making an introduction
~learning to negotiate
~managing conflict appropriately
~stress management
~importance of life long exercise and physical activity
~first aid and treating minor illnesses
~good hygiene
~decision making (choosing wisely, resisting peer pressure, healthy lifestyles)
~critical thinking/analyzing
~time management, goal setting, organization, study skills
~budgeting, using and spending money, saving, paying bills
~earning money
~career choices
~job searching, interviewing skills, making a resume
~filling out forms
~checking account/ ATM/credit cards
~insurance/investing
~housing expenses

~buying a car

~living with a roommate
~voting and politics
~community service

images of a sunday

2012-01-08T21:40:00.000-07:00

Sammy-Boy Does His Thing

2012-01-06T22:01:00.001-07:00

he puts his whole heart and soul into this game.
his love.
whether he's on the bench or on the court.
we love him all the same.

cookin' up a storm with the teen crowd

2012-01-05T16:49:00.002-07:00

To give you a little background on my post today, this is what I wrote last January:

Sam and Jane go to a really neat school... One of the things that attracted us to this school was the idea of holding a "Winterim" during the first three weeks in January. This space, between semesters, could be a time of individualized, interest based, and experiential focused study. (This all takes the place of regular full-time school hours.)

Each student would choose some kind of research project, hands-on/real world learning experience to create a truly meaningful and memorable study time. Most of the teachers at the school organize and facilitate these opportunities. A lot of them might involve fun, out of state trips, even. Some of the students work independently. The students have to put in so many hours and are graded at the end of their project, and receive credit toward their graduation.

I think it's a great idea to let them have a chance to focus and have the time to explore something that truly interests them, as well as to have a time of variety and fun during the post-holiday blahs of winter. Don't you wish you could have done something like this in your teenage years?

Sam decided this year to participate in the Extreme Cooking Winterim experience. I'm glad he likes to cook. (I know for certain that he likes to eat.) This will involve learning some basic cooking techniques, having daily themed hands-on cooking experiences and demonstrations, and going to restaurants to enjoy ethnic cuisine, including some tours and talks with chefs, etc.

I was asked if I could teach a class. I was thrilled. I talked about my experience as a teen learning how to cook. My journey towards health and whole foods eating. Tips and encouragement when preparing food, focusing primarily on what I called "Sensational Salads".

I knew that this might be a terrific opportunity to introduce them to a portable, powerhouse "blended" salad- the green smoothie.

Would they go for it?

A resounding yes. And how. Each one of the 30 students came back begging more. Seriously. Raving and ranting about how something so green could actually turn out so yum.

I was floored. (But not really.)

I honestly think I got them hooked. Boy, this whole experience was so gratifying to me, opening up new possibilities for them of not only healthy, but tasty.

Thanks, Sam, for being my picture taking guy

All in all I was there for two and a half hours this afternoon, talking healthy eating as well as demonstrating (almost all of it prepped at home) four other salads besides the smoothies. A southwestern style brown rice and black bean salad, a spicy Asian peanut noodle and vegetable salad, Karen's, from Real Food Matters knock out Quinoa and Roasted Squash (I used sweet potatoes) salad, and Robin's, the Green Smoothie girl herself Spinach-Orzo Ensalata. (Her daughter, in fact, is a student at this school.)

I couldn't believe how much these kids went for this food. Filling their plates and coming back for seconds and thirds. The vibe in that room was so energizing and exciting. I loved teaching these impressionable and receptive young people, being there with them, feeding nourishing tastys to them.

And I definitely think they liked it, too.

An Ode to Soup

2012-01-04T18:08:00.002-07:00

Ah, soup.

There's something so soul-satisfying about it.

It's what our mothers instinctively prepared when we were sick.

It's the food you think of first, shared from the heart, to offer comfort to your neighbor when there's been a death or tragedy in the family.

It warms us.

It strengthens us.

You know she's a good cook if she can make delicious soup.

I like to make a pot once or twice a week. That, plus leftovers, keeps us nice and cozy on especially cold days. On New Year's Eve, we gathered with friends to share soups and salads and desserts. I was proud to serve mine from that beautiful soup tureen we brought home from Portugal a few years ago. That creamy sweet potato, corn, and kale chowder- from Terry Walter's Clean Food- gifted by Keith this Christmas with urging from me after checking it out from the library too many times to count- well, it looked so colorful and lovely. And popular, too, it seemed. It gave me a little thrill, seeing many go back to fill their bowls with seconds, amazed when I told them it had no dairy.

It's soup again tonight. Wednesday's fare. A nice pot of lentil soup (again from Clean Food. I'm loving this book.) is simmering away and Isaac just commented how nice the house smells.

Wish you were here.

I'm also enjoying this book Jane gave me for my birthday: An Exaltation of Soups by Patricia Solley. I love the way this book is organized. Soup history, soup reflections, soup basics, with the bulk of the book sectioned into fun and interesting categories, including what country or culture each soup originates from: Soups To Woo a Lover, To Strengthen a Convalescent, To Celebrate Marriage, To Celebrate and Recover From Giving Birth, holidays and festivals, etc.

I'll close with these "soupy" reflections and musings.

(Enjoyed best while sipping a warming bowl of soup, of course!)

It breathes reassurance,

It offers consolation;

After a weary day, it promotes sociability.

There is nothing like a bowl of hot soup.

~Lois Degouy

Whenever I sit with a bowl of soup before me, listening to the murmur that penetrates like the distant song of an insect, lost in contemplation of the flavors to come, I feel as if I were being drawn into a trance.

~Junichiro Tanizaki, twentieth-century Japanese novelist, In Praise of Shadows

Do you have a kinder, more adaptable friend in the food world than soup? Who soothes you when you are ill? Who refuses to leave you when you are impoverished and stretches its resources to give you a hearty sustenance and cheer? Who warms you in the winter and cools you in the summer? Yet who is also capable of doing honor to your richest table and impressing your most demanding guests?...Soup does its loyal best, no matter what undignified conditions are imposed upon it. You don't catch steak hanging around when you're poor and sick, do you?

~Miss Manners (Judith Martin), contemporary American etiquette columnist

Whoever tells a lie cannot be pure in heart- and only the pure in heart can make good soup.

~Ludwig van Beethovan, German composer in a letter to Mme. Streicher in 1817

There are two types of people in this world: shlemiehls and shlimazls. A shlemiehl is the person who always spills soup, and a shlimazl is the person he spills it on. I'm the shlemiehl and you're the shlimazl.

~Jewish Bernstein talking to archconservative Archie Bunker on the 1970's U.S. sitcom All in the Family

a new year before me: desires, intentions, dreams, ideas, ambitions, possiblities

2012-01-03T12:02:00.005-07:00

A season of new beginnings.
Fresh starts.
Ideas to implement.
Desired changes.
Things to improve.
Ways to grow.

I like the sound of that, rather than the word "resolutions", don't you?

My mind tends to think along these lines not just once a year, but also at the beginning of summer and in the autumn.

I know there have been many years where I've gotten discouraged when I've set resolutions or goals that are not really achievable, too out of reach, too vague. I start out so gung ho, so enthused and excited and then when I slide or fall off the bandwagon, I think all is lost and let my ambitions go.

Thinking about all the possibilities for a more abundant and fulfilling life and then making a plan that works for me is actually very exciting instead of overwhelming.

And now as I've been thinking about this new year of 2012, I've decided that when it all boils down to it, what I really want is this:

I want to keep on the path.
This path I'm already on.

I want to feel.
I want to see.
I want to learn.

I want to create.
I want to thank.
I want to serve.
I want to share.

I want to bless.
I want to love.

I want health.
I want calm.
I want peace.
I want joy.

Yes, this is what I really desire. The qualities, the characteristics, the life I want for me.

But I do know that this path, this journey I'm on will only become possible by making a plan. And that means:

Choosing priorities.

Finding purpose.

Implementing habits.

Making daily choices.

And now for the nitty gritty. The specifics to making all this happen. This year of 2012, I will:

Feed and bless my body with whole, nutrient dense food every day.

Engage in some sort of physical exercise 6 days a week. This will include running, swimming, biking, and yoga. Participate and lead out in our 2012 Family Fitness Challenge. We've set the goal (those of us participating) to move our hearts and our muscles in some sort of exercise a half an hour, 4 days a week. Those who achieve this goal will be able to look forward to a Spring Break adventure in Arches National Park that will include hiking and horseback riding. Run the Ragnar Relay again this year in June. Run a half marathon in the late summer or early fall.

Maintain a "first things first"/"sharpen the saw" morning routine (prayer, scriptures, water, tea/smoothie, exercise, supplements.)

Keep on blogging. Finding joy, growth, and fulfillment in photography and writing.

Manage our money better by saving receipts and recording spending. Paying with cash. Maintaining a budget.

Learn about things that interest me: health and healing, cultures, family relationships, spirituality, philosophy, self improvement, food.

Read daily for pleasure. Literature, poetry, short stories, non-fiction.

Write a thank you note or "thinking of you" note every week to someone I care about.

Spend individualized scheduled time with my children and with Keith.

Go somewhere new. (This is going to be very exciting!)

Practice and schedule monthly hospitality at home: family, friends, neighbors.

Teach and share what I know. Participation in the Whole Food Kitchen workshop, cooking demonstrations, church assignment.

Stick to my weekly home rhythms.

Continue my weekly volunteer work at the children's school, as well as my ongoing work with Mother's Without Borders. (Soon, I'll share more of what I'm doing with this humanitarian organization.

some lessons from 2011

2011-12-31T12:29:00.000-07:00

~ people can be prepared, whether it's through impressions, intuition, listening to the whisperings of the Spirit, for events or changes before they actually manifest.

~when it's over, it's over.

~trust your gut feelings.

~sometimes taking the unexpected, scary, and unknown path might turn out to be the journey the Maker always had in mind for you in the first place.

~this vegan way of eating can be very satisfying.

~there are so many good people in this world.

~trials and challenges really are instruments in learning and growth.

~people, relationships, and feelings are more important than programs, procedures, and protocol.

~everyone has some kind of inward and unseen insecurity, doubt, and struggle not apparent or manifested on the outside.

~distancing myself from God, doubting His love and care only leads to bitterness.

~things never stay the same. People don't either.

~I can't change the past and I can't control what may happen in the future, but what I do have is today: living in the present, in the now. Peace and happiness is right before me if I can just see and remember this truth.

~sharing makes me happy.

~it can make all the difference in the world when you know and feel another's genuine and sincere love, interest, and care.

~there are certain people (earth angels, really) that come into your life right when you need them the most.

~people can change in unexpected, surprising new ways. Allow for patience, baby steps, time.

~a simple life is the best life.

~it's good, it's okay, and it's even important to be alone sometimes.

~it takes a conscious, deliberate effort to really see, to know, to capture my life. Opening my eyes to the beautiful, the happys, the simple blessings that make up a wonderful life is a choice.

~there are dormant, undiscovered talents and abilities, things about myself that I never knew were there.

~miracles can happen.

~the grace of God is always there, even with all I can do or can't do or won't do.

~interaction with others is crucial to a happy, balanced life. Even when you think you don't need it. Isolation and distancing oneself isn't always such a good thing.

~ "gratitude unlocks the fullness of life; it turns what we have into enough and more." Oh this is true.

come away

2011-12-30T15:48:00.000-07:00

with me,

and we'll ride in a truck
and eat at the Cheesecake Factory
and we'll be satisfied even without the cheesecake part
and you'll say that sweater would look nice on me
and we'll look at dishes and stuff at Crate and Barrel
and we're both fine without buying anything
and I'm glad you like to look as much as I do
and we'll walk downtown in the dark
with all those pretty twinkly white lights
and you'll hold my hand
and we'll eat a late dinner
at that nice Thai place
they told us about
and we both comment how much
we like this smiling server man
and we call home
because we love them so much
and we share
and we talk
and we see
and you tell me that I'm beautiful
and we dream
and we wake up late
and we take cold showers
and we eat
and I give you my bacon
and we eat again when you take me to that vegan bakery
because you know I like to do that kind of stuff
and we talk about what we've learned this year
and we get me my planner calender
and we see that War Horse movie
because you wanted to please me
even more.

around here (holiday style)

2011-12-29T06:22:00.003-07:00

:: lots of family togetherness. lots and lots.

:: Sammy's got a big old basketball tournament.
Excited for that fun bus trip down to Kanab and back. (wink wink)

:: "Would somebody please just do the dishes?"

:: meal time- it's a random thing.

:: never ending Settlers-a-thon

:: pajama wear day and night

:: late night movies at home and on the big screen, too.
(we loved Hugo)

:: she gets reacquainted with the pool. Forgot how nice it is to move her body through the water.

:: she also gets friendly with those fun new camera lenses.
(!!!)

:: lots of time to dive into the books.

:: repeated staying up late leads to many mornings of sleeping in.

:: it's all about Finland these days.

:: weird to have Christmas without a speck of snow.

:: since Santa officially brought it to the both of them, they are naturally spending lots of time together. Robotics + Legos + Dad + computer programming = Lots o' FUN!

from our hearts to his

2011-12-28T11:20:00.000-07:00

What a gift of love. Something he will treasure his whole life long.

She wanted to make his Christmas special. She wanted to give him something that would mean so much. Something unforgettable.

And that's what she did.

It was a big secret we were all sharing. She arranged with her video savvy friend to film all of us. His Papa. His Mama. His Mom. His Dad. The people who've known him all his life and love him the most. She wanted us to share our hearts with him. Our feelings, words of love, kind encouragement, wise council, tender memories. Things that he could always draw from. Things that would give him strength in the days and years to come.

Such a special gift to have this beautiful record. This record of not only voice and video, but the expressions, the nuances, the emotions behind the words spoken, the tone and the beauty and the feeling.

I can't think of a more meaningful, thoughtful gift.

their gift of love

2011-12-26T18:43:00.002-07:00

Keith and I received a gift on Christmas Eve that we will never forget. Created and given with such sweetness, such tenderness, such love. Both of them (Eliza age 13 and Isaac age 7) working secretly only last week on something to surprise me, they said. So excited and joyful those two, together.

And when I opened this little book, a collection of Christmas poems each of them authored, complete with Isaac's sweet rendering of the stable scene on its cover, I was just so overcome. With wonder. With amazement. So touched that they each have found happiness, true talent in writing. In expressing so creatively and sensitively, their feelings, impressions, and interpretations of this beautiful season.

I knew I just had to share some of them with you.

I think they just might melt your heart, too.

The Wise Men

The Wise men come,
Traveling far,
To find the star.
They travel on camels,
A row of three,
To find the child
Who saved you and me.
~ Isaac

The Star

Leading,
Guiding,
Wise men riding,
Glowing,
Showing,
Oxen lowing.
~ Isaac

The Shepherds

The shepherds, while tending their flock,
Know not of the signs that announce Jesus' birth.
The angels tell them that the child is born
To see the star
The light from afar.
~Isaac

The Elves

The elves, though tiny and small,
Are very smart, but not very tall.
They work in their workshop until it's time for bed
And it's weird how they all wear red.
The workshop is always full
And their lives are never dull.
~Isaac

Poinsettia

The Christmas plant
Has red leaves, green,
Veins like lace,
A pearly sheen.
The red is blood
Our Savior gives.
The green is life-
Our Savior lives!
~Eliza

Caroling

Blue cheeks
Blue nose
Blue lips
Blue toes
We are cold
As cold can be
But I am warm
Inside of me.
~Eliza

The Hands of Joseph

Strong
Calloused
Worn rough with years of work.

They tear strips of cloth to wrap a baby in.

Though so strong,
So rough-looking,
They are gentle, kind.

They press Mary's palm,
The large thumbs
Rub back and forth on her fingers
To soothe her through the pain.
They brush back her hair
So she can nurse her baby.

These hands
Are those of a carpenter,
A worker,
A husband,
A father.

They are the hands
Of a good man.

They are hands
Full of love.
~Eliza

Where Among the Angels

Where among the angels
Were you on that night?
Were you in the heavens
Polishing stars bright?
Were you in the choir
Learning how to sing?
Did you come to children
And tell them of a King?

Were you in the pastures
Comforting the sheep?
Did you sit by Mary
And help her fall asleep?
Did you spread glad tidings
Of the wondrous birth
To each and every person
Across the Father's earth?

Did you leap and shout for joy
And shine your holy light?
Were you among the angels
Were you on that night?
~Eliza

Celebration

2011-12-25T22:58:00.004-07:00

Celebration

Peppermint and evergreen

Firewood and tangerine

Danish cookies, holly leaf

Cinnamon and pinecone wreath

Gingerbread and jingle bells

Almond and pistachio shells

Snow globes, Russian nesting dolls

"Silent Night" and "Deck the Halls"

Roasted chestnuts, mistletoe

Dampened mittens, tracked-in snow

Gumdrops, tinsel, Christmas crackers

Chocolates in gold foil wrappers

Snow boots, scarves, nativity

Lights strung round the Christmas tree

Story of the Christ Child's birth

Christmas all around the earth.

~ Eliza

December 2011

(One of the many poems she and Isaac

gifted this year to their mom and dad.

Come back tomorrow and I'll share more!)

Finding Joy~ Day 24

2011-12-24T15:40:00.005-07:00

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve is very fun,

You get to wait for Christmas day.

It's hard to wait for the very best day.

Tick, tock, tick, tock goes the clock

Crackity, crackity goes the lock.

Why! That is Santa Claus filling my sock!

a poem by Isaac

Another day spent in the kitchen. More treats made with love to tuck into a few more gift baskets. Rice pudding ready to take to my parents house where we will gather tonight to feast Mexican style, play the goofy Left and Right game (it's tradition), exchange gifts, and enjoy being all together. It will be beautiful, as always.

Cinnamon rolls are baking in the oven for brunch tomorrow and the house smells lovely and feels cozy. Keith has been out and about since this morning doing his thing. Eliza is playing Picture a Christmas on the piano and it's nice to finally sit down and enjoy this moment. This calm.

Now, we wait in expectation, anticipation.

I hope you feel peace and joy, my friend. Today and tomorrow and the day after that. That's my Christmas wish for you. Thank you, each of you dear ones wherever you are in the world who visit here and let me share my life with you. I think about you and wish all the best to you and those you love.

So thankful, more and more each day, for that Light that gives my life meaning, joy, and hope.

The greatest gift of all.

Finding Joy~ Day 23

2011-12-23T21:02:00.003-07:00

A slow, easy morning. This was needed after all the rushing about this week. The knock at the door had me nervous, embarrassed as I was still in my sweats/pajamas and that meant no shower. What a surprise to see her standing on my doorstep. I hadn't talked to her for over a year. This friend of mine who is the epitome of goodness. It's a true friendship when you can just pick up from where you left off without day to day interaction. Hardly any real interaction, for that matter. Knowing and feeling that the caring, love, and concern is and always has been there, regardless.

She said she always thinks of me when she's in my neighborhood. She said she wanted to stop by and bring me her family Christmas card, along with the carol that she wrote. I was touched that she would think of me. We talked heart to heart on my couch. So warm. She's a listener. We hugged tight and I told her that this visit made my day.

Some years we go to see a local production of the Christmas Carol and other years we like to go to the Nutcracker. It's a tradition that's brought us a lot of joy. A family outing that we all look forward to. We asked them what they'd like to do this year and the ballet it was. Made even funner by inviting Ivana to join us.

So magical. Even though we know it by heart. Maybe that's the reason why.

German food sounded good. Handy right there next door to the theater. Lot's of fun, too, browsing around the aisles of imported European foods. That's something I always find very interesting.

I love it when we are all together like this. These times, this season, these traditions that make memories, tighten bonds. Thankful for days like these to tuck away and hide in my heart.

Finding Joy~ Day 22

2011-12-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

Finding Joy~ Day 21: The Day Gary Gets His Mission Call!

2011-12-21T16:23:00.001-07:00

This was one of the most joyful days of my life.
Of his life.
Of so many of our lives.

A day we've dreamed of.
A day, he most of all, has been praying would finally come.

Since Gary turned in his mission papers to church headquarters at the beginning of the month, these days just have seemed to drag on and on. The holiday rush has honestly been a welcome distraction in some ways. We've been sitting on pins and needles, anxious to know where in this world Gary would be called to serve his mission. His ecclesiastical leaders told him to expect that the letter would come today.

Gary brought over his stuff late last night to sleep here. Obviously, none of us slept very much. Think Christmas Day anticipation x10. Keith and I laughed, noticing it was 1:30 in the morning and all we could hear were the sounds of Gary downstairs rummaging through the Lego box that Isaac had been playing with during the day. We smiled there in the dark. It was a happy sound- this way of his he found to occupy his mind.

In our town, the post office usually calls prospective missionaries early in the morning to notify them that their letter is in. Whether to hold it or deliver it. No call came by quarter to 8 and knowing I couldn't wait any longer, I went ahead and made the call. Sure enough, the letter was there. We all piled into the van. Such joy, laughter, and expectation filled the air as we drove to pick it up and then on to Mama's and Papa's house to gather as a family. To share it all with them.

Each of us made our guesses. Excitement, love, and pure joy reigned. We knelt in prayer and listened to Gary's sweet sincere prayer of gratitude and humble plea for peace.

I thought my heart would burst out of my chest. Beating so fast and so hard. We were all literally holding our breath.

And then there was that tender silence.

Our waiting while he weeps. Tears of utter happiness.

" Dear Elder C____,

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Finland Helsinki Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 24 months..."

Finland! We were shocked. None of us even considered this place. Many more tears. Shrieks of delight and amazement. A whole new way of thinking, processing it all.

He will leave on April 25th for a two month stay at the nearby Missionary Training Center. To learn the language and the culture. To learn how to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ. What it means to be one of His representatives.

We gathered around the computer. Wikipedia (the first place we go to for information these days) would shed more light on this country that would become beloved and cherished in time. Sensing now that it already is these things.

Calling to share the good news with loved ones. Spending the day back at home digesting it all, letting it all sink in. Visiting with eager- to- find- out- the- news friends of his. Listening to online Finnish instructions- how to count and what this new and different language sounds like. All of us agreeing that his love and ease of learning languages might be one of the factors in his being assigned there. Cranking up Sibelius's Finlandia and feeling the sudden stirrings of pride for this people and culture he'll soon learn to love.

Such day of joy and jubilation.

This day of true rejoicing.

An early Christmas present.

Sweetness none of us will ever forget.

Finding Joy~ Day 20

2011-12-20T16:36:00.003-07:00

He shares a favorite story with a willing and eager companion.

She's happy to see Christmas cards in the mailbox.

She gets ready for her date.

He steps inside, grins broadly, and holds out his hand.

He comes home for lunch to see everything before she starts to wrap.

She works on a secret, forbidding her mother from coming downstairs.

She gladly listens to Christmas music in her seclusion.

He calls to remind her (with an email, too) that today is the first day of Hanukkah, and that he's at Target getting candles for his Menorah. "Let's make latkes soon!" she tells him.

She feels touched, warm inside every time she sees that bookmark gifted to her on Sunday. Words that build, shared from the heart by her fellow sisters in the gospel.

He says he needs a haircut. She's happy to oblige.

They'll gather with the other team couples for Italian later. It's Christmas after all.

Finding Joy~ Day 19

2011-12-19T21:13:00.000-07:00

I'm pooped.

A happy kind of pooped, if you know what I mean.

You would call it a major shopping day. And I mean major. Not only gifts for extended family and our immediate family, but groceries as well. Besides a few little incidentals and Gary's gifts that we'll go pick out together on Thursday- I just about have things wrapped up. Boy, does that bring me joy.

I felt a little guilty leaving the kids home to fend for themselves, this being their first day out and all. It would have made more sense for me to go when they were in school. In the last few years, I've seemed to leave things until the last week.

I think the biggest factor was waiting to use the big 20% alumni coupon on everything purchased at the university bookstore. What a store this is. Three floors of everything from electronics, books for all ages, clothing, art, craft, and school supplies- you name it, they've got it. Basically one stop shopping. Yay for me! Anyway, that sale started today. The savings sure add up when you buy for a large family like ours.

From what I can tell, our gifting is pretty straightforward. We've always given a nice book to the children for Christmas. A pair of new pajamas. (In the good old days, I'd make them.) The kids draw names and give to each other. The pajamas and these gifts for each other are opened on Christmas Eve. I like to get them something new to wear. Most of the years, I make something for each of them. I'm finding that it's becoming harder as they get older. So many ideas when they were little. We give games, movies, and more books as "family gifts". Santa brings the "biggie" or special item pined for, and of course, fills their stockings.

What kinds of gifts do you like to give in your family?

Have you got all your shopping done?

Finding Joy~ Day 18

2011-12-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

Cold Outside

Warm Inside

Finding Joy~ Day 17

2011-12-17T20:00:00.002-07:00

~ to have a sweet visit this morning with Mariana, Jane's new college best friend. Driving this darling, happy girl to the airport so she can fly home to spend the holidays with her loving family in Portugal. What an angel and a delight she is.

~ remembering that dusting and vacuuming can be very therapeutic.

~a clean bathroom feels so nice. Why don't I do this more often?

~to vocalize my love.

~taking a quiet moment in the busy-ness of the day to open that treasured family Christmas album my mom tucks beneath her tree. Those images captured of my own childhood. Tender tears filling these eyes. (This is an everyday occurrence with me as you probably know by now.) Heart swell and heart ache all at the same time. (Is that even possible?) Remembering the magic. Just like it was yesterday. Almost like seeing it for the first time, through these mothering eyes of my own, all the effort Mom put forth year after year to make Christmastime so special.

The five matching homemade dresses, nightgowns and robes for us girls. The never to be forgotten, four foot tall Barbie Dream House she miraculously created with carpet, furniture, wallpaper, and everything- an absolute miracle. The sewn cloth dolls to hug and to love- and there were multiples each and every year. The fragrant gingerbread men and women hanging on our "cookie tree" next to the front door, the dozens of them waiting to be plucked off and offered to the visiting children of our neighborhood. The homey touches only she could create that made our home feel so cozy and warm...

How did she do it all?

This, the work of her hands and of her heart.

And now tonight, opening our own family Christmas album. The early years of these now growing up too fast children of mine. Realizing more and more how swift the years go by. This time that will never stand still. Understanding that they won't be my little ones forever. Hoping that what I've tried to provide has been enough to fill their souls.

Feeling deep down in my heart

that it has.

Finding Joy~ Day 16

2011-12-16T21:38:00.001-07:00

Pajama Day for Eliza and International Day for Isaac today at school. All to add a little more to the holiday flare. For the special teachers, I baked loaves of that braided Swiss bread that I usually make (not as perfected as my mom's, though), along with jars of raspberry honey butter. They always seem to like that.

Danish rice pudding was our offering to the tasting table, as this was the immigrant ancestor country he researched and presented. Our family Christmas Eve tradition. How fun for the children to see and taste and experience a little bit of culture this way.

I noticed and inquired about all those winter hats on each of the twenty children in the classroom. Shelby made them, Isaac said. I called her over to me and put my arms around her. Amazed. Tears filling my eyes. "You knitted all these hats, Shelby?" I wondered. She nodded silently with a knowing, bright smile. She and her mom had been working on them for ever so long, she said. Something special and from the heart for all her friends.

Now, this is love.

Eliza and I had to leave a little early to keep her appointment with the nephrologist. He listened to her story. He was kind. He reviewed her lab work. No sign of kidney problems, he said. We left relieved, but still perplexed. She more and me a little feeling slightly self conscious, a little embarrassed. In our hearts knowing that what she is feeling and living with truly is not normal and worrisome. Both doctors now suggesting that a visit with a specialty pediatric rheumatologist might be the the next step.

Late afternoon brought me down to the campus dorm to help Jane pack up and move again. The current dorm, built in 1953, will be torn down in just a few weeks. The co-eds so excited to be transferred to this new and improved, sparkling and brand new tower. Did you ever hear of college dorm bathrooms having granite showers and countertops?

So we talked and talked as we packed boxes. As we walked and walked back and forth in the dark to the van. To load and unload.

Didn't it just seem like yesterday that I moved her down there in the first place? And now, with her first ever college finals behind her (which she passed with flying colors by the way), and the happy looking forward now to just breathe and enjoy a couple of quiet weeks at home, we both knew that this called for a celebration.

A sweet potato fry kind of celebration.

Finding Joy~ Day 15

2011-12-15T12:47:00.002-07:00

Creation,

Creativity,

Creators

Of course, Nature, God's handiwork is the most beautiful of all.

And then there's my own handiwork..

And a glimpse of my beloved, light-filled space in which I've created to create. The kitchen is my favored spot. But I think you knew that...

Remembered this little elf just yesterday and smiled as I pulled her out from her nestling place amongst the earrings and necklaces. Gifted, created with so much care and love to me last Christmas by my sweet little artist daughter, Eliza.

I think I'll go ahead and pin her to my coat to share the joy.

Finding Joy~ Day 14

2011-12-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

Just Happy

In past years, I'd be in frenzy mode these last few weeks before Christmas. I'm amazed at how calm I feel, that I don't feel the perfectionism pressures. Don't feel like I'm on a runaway train and can't get off. Just enjoying what each day brings.

Things will get done (the most important things) or they won't.

No homemade gifts, and I'm (kind of) okay with that. No Christmas cards to send out. Although, I do think I'll send out a Happy New Year greeting, as we've been waiting to get the news of where Gary will serve his mission and wish to share that with our loved ones. (We think he'll get his official "call" letter in the mailbox next Wednesday.) We still have quite a few gifts yet to purchase. Like the majority of them. All of that, as well as the wrapping, the baking, the teacher and neighbor gifting and the packages to send to faraway relatives- it will all get done sooner or later.

This way of experiencing Christmas feels good to me for a change. Don't think I've ever been so relaxed about it as long as I've been a mother.

Calm.

Even through taking multiple children to the doctor's office about 5 times in the last couple months, including a couple of Gary's own doctor visits and hospital blood work done as part of his missionary service paperwork to complete, Eliza's multiple blood and urine labs, her ultrasound, and E. R. visit, the 3 x-rays of Sam's broken finger (including the one tonight, as he thought he re-broke it at Monday's basketball game; first time joining the team. Good news after all that he only injured it.)

I should be stressed, but I'm not.

Specifically, this morning's run was a joy bringer. Let go of the pressure of being out in those frigid temperatures. No ice on this morning's windshield, so that was a good sign. The a-okay. Fresh legs, fresh mindset. No chore today. Just for the love of it. The heart pumping, beating fast. Blood flowing. Even if I am going a little slower these days. Puffy, rhythmic breath clouds suspended in the air. Exhilaration.

And oh, what a delicious thing it was to take off those wet clothes and immerse my body in a tub of hot water.

To feel the freedom, to decide that it was okay to lie down on the bed for an hour this afternoon before picking the kids up from school to enjoy a little Doris Day and Rock Hudson. Even if it meant falling asleep fifteen minutes into it.

I guess that's to be expected when you arise at 4 a.m. rested and eager for a new day to begin.

Finding Joy~ Day 13

2011-12-13T14:56:00.003-07:00

Winter Wonderland

When the first snowfall comes,

and the ice is like glass,

you hardly can get the right moment to look outside.

Sometimes when you do,

you can see, why, Santa Claus gliding wonderfully, gracefully, through the sky.

~ a poem by Isaac

I just love Isaac's teacher. She had recently gone back to school to get a teaching degree. She's a mom about my age. Every once in a while she'll send me little emails, giving me glimpses of his progress and the victories of his days. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this personal attention. What it means to me.

The other day she said she just had to let me read some of the poems that were in his writing journal. A journal not intended for poems, just for chronicling the days. She was surprised to see this from a seven year old little boy. I not so much. He went though a stage last year in his homeschool journal where he wrote little poems quite often. He was immersed with the language and beauty from the poems we'd read daily. He could see the joy that this type of creative expression has given Eliza, Keith, and even me.

When I told him that Mrs. Mensson sent them for me to read, and that he really was developing a talent for poetry, a big smile brightened his face and he said, "I just didn't know I had it in me!"

How beautiful it was to see snow this morning. I was beginning to wonder if it would ever really snow, now that Christmas is almost upon us. It sure put me in the MOOD.

Keith has committed to drinking green smoothies daily. This makes me happy.

The kids and I held our breath as we drove to school this morning, waiting for our old van to break down any minute with all that rattling noise we heard. (Good thing I had a feeling to get dressed. I've been known to drive carpool in my nightgown. With my coat over, of course.) Ended up being the muffler, dangling by a thread onto the road as we drove. Glad Keith could rescue me and that he's a guy who can take care of these kinds of repairs.

He took me to pick up my monthly Azure delivery. Love being able to pay less than I would at the health food store for a myriad of "natural, organic, earth-friendly foods and products"- all for no membership fee and no contract or obligation to order every month. I, along with about 10 other families meet at a drop off point about ten minutes away from my house the second Tuesday of every month. I've loved being able to build up my food supply this way.

To give you more of an idea, today's order among other things included a 50 lb. bag of thickly cut oats ($25 is a good deal) which will last us a good, long time, 10 lbs. of brown rice spaghetti noodles, 2 lbs. of coconut milk powder (planning on making a hot cocoa mix for the non-dairy people).

And you couldn't find nicer folks than Darrell (Santa) and his sweet daughter Caroline who deliver the goods with a smile every month.

It was a nice, cozy morning to spend time in the kitchen baking. The granola jar is empty and needed filling.

Needed to make something to fill the tin for tonight's secret surprise drop off. Almond Linzertorte Thumbprint cookies sounded good.

I think I'll freeze the rest to enjoy on Christmas Day.

P.S. It would sure be nice if you and I could sit down together at the table to nibble on a cookie and share a cup of tea (or glass of milk). I would totally go for that.

Let's just pretend, okay?

Finding Joy~ Day 12

2011-12-12T19:36:00.003-07:00

Spent the day out and about. Lingering, taking my time at the library. Treating myself to lunch. These were just accents, though. The main purpose of my outing brought a lot of happiness to my heart. Truly. This, the tradition passed down of anonymous giving we vowed to carry on when we began our family. Set in stone when we were once the recipients that Christmas we'll never forget.

We're all excited for tomorrow night.

So proud of our Eliza today. She took 2nd place in her schoolwide geography bee. Geography is a family forte; a family tradition. (Does some of that reflect my own love for this subject? I think the homeschool emphasis played a big factor, too.) Gary and Sam both qualified for the state bee and placed within the top ten finalists both years they competed. Jane got 2nd place in her school when she was in 8th grade. So you can see why this book is so tattered and torn.

It's always fun when a little friend comes over for a visit.

This "shopper's reward" certificate I got in the mail sure will come in handy in the next few weeks. Don't know what I'd do without Costco.

Pizza for dinner. It's been a while. (I won't show you the third. Black, carbon. Burned to an absolute crisp while I was uploading my pictures just now. Should have set the timer.)

Even though the dinner dishes aren't done, I think we'll wind up the evening with a short little Christmas movie Twinky brought the other night~ Christmas For A Dollar. (Based on a book by the same name,)

Hoping you are finding joy in your days, too, my friend.

Finding Joy~ Day 11

2011-12-11T18:44:00.000-07:00

Sunday.
rest day.

renewed once again.

pausing,
remembering,
the Reason for the season.

Finding Joy~ Day 10

2011-12-10T17:16:00.002-07:00

:: bread baking morning (I finally got the sourdough right)
:: German Chocolate cake, too (tonight's food assignment)

:: chores getting done (I nag. I hope.)
:: puzzle to work on throughout the day (welcomed neighbor gift)
:: haircut and new dress for me (I get a little sassy)

:: Gary stops by for the afternoon (he's so dapper)

:: elfing at large (secrets in the works)
:: laundry loads (thank you, Keith)
:: baking basket assembly for the new bride (fun idea and hoping she goes for it)
:: church Christmas dinner in just a little while (fellowship is good)
:: we'll stop by the wedding reception after that (best to the happy couple)

Come Join Us At Wholefood Kitchen Online Workshop!

2011-12-10T09:56:00.002-07:00

So pleased and excited to share this with all of my friends.

You may recall me raving about my experiences and participation in lovely Heather's, of Beauty That Moves, 30 Day Vegan online workshop. I had been interested in basing my diet more heavily on plant foods, and the idea of going (mostly) vegan for a time of cleansing and renewal was something that intrigued me. I gleaned so much from my participation last spring, that when it was offered again in the late summer, I couldn't pass up another opportunity for more inspiration, information, motivation, incredible recipes, and online community support. I can't praise these courses enough. Every part of it life changing. And that's no exaggeration!

Now, Heather is offering a three month Whole Food Kitchen Online Workshop held February 6 - April 29 2012. Geared and designed for all of us average folks who desire to eat healthier (and that should be everyone, don't you think?) , build our pantries around whole foods, and learn the tools and tricks of the trade in making eating and cooking this way a lifestyle for ourselves and our families. An amazing amount of beautiful inspiration and support woven throughout.

I've been honored to be one of the contributing writers to this program. One of nine down-to-earth, real life moms who will share the hows and the whys of implementing the whole foods way of life.

So come and join us, won't you? I couldn't think of a better gift to give yourself and your family this holiday season. We all want better health, and it all starts with what we feed our bodies every single day. You won't regret or be disappointed participating in this workshop, I can guarantee that. It'll be worth every penny.

And another bonus: If you register now until Tuesday the 13th, you can sign yourself up and bring along a friend for free! What a great gift idea!

Go here for details.

Hope to see you there.

Finding Joy~ Day 9

2011-12-09T20:14:00.001-07:00

A Few Friday Glimpses and Thoughts

I puttered around this morning. Nightgown stayed on until the blogs and paper read, the big bowl of fruit eaten, the dishes done, the dough set to rise, the two big mugs of tea enjoyed. A very unrushed, peaceful way to begin my morning.

Some tidying up was in order, as is always the case, and I did as much as I thought I should be responsible for. The rest will await the children tomorrow. A few little Christmas touches were put in place and that felt good.

Time was spent, as usual for a Friday, shelving library school books. We all came home and both Eliza and I napped for a little while. Isaac was deeply engaged in the Christmas Mad Libs we picked up last night, and a paper and pencil game he invented.

We are still very concerned about Eliza. Her urination issues ran deeper today. Deep enough for the doctor to suggest going to the emergency room late this afternoon. Some test results came back negative, which is a relief, and the rest we wait on and undergo, at home, until Sunday. Our plan is to see a nephrologist early next week.

There is a sense of peace, though, even in the uncertainty and the not knowing. Taking each day as it comes, and seeing all that's good, all that's beautiful in these days. And there's so much of that.

Joy bringer.

Finding Joy~ Day 8

2011-12-08T22:03:00.005-07:00

On Keeping Warm,
My Greens Craving Is Satisfied (In More Ways Than One),

And We Hear The Children Singing

I've been so cold lately. We've had temperatures in the mid to lower 20's (even colder in the mornings) and I'm having a hard time staying warm. Too wimpy to go out running. Who could blame me? Just trying to listen to my body and honor what it's telling me.

Whether it's wrapping myself in a warm throw, putting an extra quilt on the bed at night, and propping up socked feet near the fireplace in the daytime. And hot tea. Thank goodness for hot tea.

Extremely hungry this week, too. I found myself craving greens all morning, not smoothie greens, but warm greens.

Warmth is what I want.

That bunch of Swiss chard was calling my name. So for lunch, I ate the entire bunch (yes, all at one sitting), sauteed with lots of garlic and topped it over some brown rice and curried chickpeas.

Oh, baby.

Other greens were on my mind today, too. Brought some evergreen cuttings in from the yard, as well as the armful of holly branches Phyllis brought over just because. How did she know that I'm in love with this holly?

The mantle turned out picture perfect. Oh, the smell of pine.

Swoony.

I was so relieved to finally put up the tree. It's really starting to feel like Christmas around here now.

My mom made these cornhusk dolls when I was about five years old. She gave them to me when I got married and they always bring me back to the magical Christmases of my childhood.

They are a treasure.

The children's school choirs performed tonight at our local Barnes and Noble bookseller. Eliza took her turn at the gift wrapping station with the student council.

That was a neat opportunity for her.

How can you not be happy looking at this boy right here?

One of my all time favorite pictures of Isaac.

The older choir tenderly sang Grown Up Christmas List. Have you ever heard this song? I love these lyrics. My eyes filled with tears as I looked into each of those hopeful, innocent faces.

How lucky we were to see Santa over in the children's section. This was the perfect opportunity to have a visit. Isaac agreed with me that he seemed like the real deal. Or maybe he could be one of the elves.

You just never know.

Finding Joy~ Day 7

2011-12-07T13:17:00.001-07:00

St. Nicholas Day

(a day late, but that's okay)

Isaac has had a fun time learning about winter traditions and festivals at school. He told me last night- December 6th- about it being St. Nicholas Day, but was disappointed that we missed it. I told him I didn't see how it would make a difference, only one day late. He grinned and shrugged his shoulders, calling for Sam and Eliza to put their shoes under the advent calendar for St. Nicholas to (hopefully) fill. He said it would kind of be like it taking the place, just this night, of Twinky coming (our nightly December elf visitor).

Sam was a little hesitant. "My shoes stink, Mom. That's gross," he said blankly. The idea of treats tucked inside his sweaty-boy shoes. I told him that the treats would most likely be wrapped. Funny that he said he'd go ahead and put out his high tops- "These ones have more room." (Hint hint, Mom.)

This was fun. Even for my teenagers. I've always thought this was a sweet, little tradition. I just love learning about European Christmas traditions, especially. I think this one might stick.

If we remember.