Wednesday, October 5, 2011

range of (e)motion

Yesterday, I went from one feeling to the next. Sometimes, days of life are like that. Don't you agree?

That morning, I attended the funeral of a child. Son of old neighbors and friends. This twenty year old young man, exactly my Gary's age, fought a valiant one year battle with cancer. Wild and unstoppable tumors took over, ravishing his body. His mother, Rose, so beautiful, so strong, spoke to the congregation. How could a mother face such a task? She told us stories. She brought laughter to the somber mood. She powerfully, yet tenderly shared with us the Source of where this peace and strength is found.

My heart aches for her incomprehensible pain and loss. For this quiet father. For those four other boys left behind. For his twin,  torn apart from his best friend, his soul mate.

It brought my heart some cheer, seeing those familiar faces of old neighbors and friends.

Some things never change.

I came home to my quiet house and ate my lunch alone. The pain in my neck brought me to my bed. For over a week, it's been increasingly getting worse. I thought I just slept on it wrong. Maybe I did and it brought it on. I think what I have is something you'd call "wry neck" or torticollis. I experienced it when I was young. Unable to turn my neck now to both sides without being in a lot of pain. Maybe it's some kind of virus that's settled in these muscles. 

Last night, the pain peaked. It was pretty bad. I'm trying to take it easy. I'm trying to do the right things to help it.

It seems a little better this morning than it was last night. Today, I've scheduled a massage. That will be nice, but I'm sure a little uncomfortable, too.

Without her not even knowing that I wasn't doing well last night, Sister Walgren, a neighbor and fellow church member, kindly and thoughtfully brought over some freshly baked zucchini muffins. A tender mercy, surely.

This day's emotions such a range of feeling. 
Starting with sorrow, amidst the promise of hope.
Then, lowered again to this physical pain and discomfort.
Elevated to thankfulness for loving care shown.
Finally, it all turning to complete and utter joy by the end of the evening.

This peak, this highlight: One of my children shared some news with me that took all of us by complete surprise. This child and I sobbed together. Over the phone. A much anticipated and long awaited blessing, all of it coming to fruition now, we see.

Feeling such relief. Such gratitude.

That God is near.

Through thick and thin.


  1. hope your neck feels better. it is hard to "feel" so much in just one day - exhausting even. take care.

  2. Hopping you get better! Yes there are days that we experience strecthes of walking in the Lord's garden. Surely Heavenly Father is always near and loyal, faithfully comforting us in ways only He can! I am glad your day end better! xoxos!

  3. Yay for good news!

    ABout your neck, have you been to an osteopath? I highly recommend Dr. McClane. She is active and as granola as docs come, and she tries to help you stay active. Acupuncture has been wonderful! Let me know if you'd like any info.

    I hope you feel better soon. Have you tried using Deep Blue on your neck or Icy Hot patches? Both are miracle workers. I feel your pain adnd I'm so sorry.