Monday, June 2, 2014
I guess I could laugh or I could cry.
I've done both today.
Tears at my doctor appointment this afternoon and not being able to stop laughing when they rolled in this little number.
The saga with my foot continues.
(Sorry if this seems like one drawn out pity party.)
So I found out today that since my first x-ray in January, I've had a stress fracture in the bottom of my heel bone. That, along with the bone spur that I knew that was there for about four years now (the real problem and reason for my surgery was to treat the plantar facscitiis right under it,) has now partially detached.
Thus, these hidden, unsuspected, mostly unrelated additional problems in my recovery process that we had no idea about.
At least I now know why the pain in my foot hasn't responded to everything we've tried these past two months of my recovery. And that's a big relief.
The plan is to stay off my foot as much as possible. Rolling around on this scooter or using crutches for the next 4-6 weeks.
Just call me Little Red Riding Hood. Complete with a cute, little basket to take goodies to Granny. At this point, I kind of feel like Granny herself.
If wearing this boot for these past three weeks hasn't been enough, now I'll have to get used to the idea of continuing to wear it while moving around on wheels or not doing anything at all. Letting go of even more I need and want to do, or getting used to doing things differently. Cooking, cleaning, going to the grocery store, spending three days at Disneyland next week (and getting ready for our trip to California), and the much anticipated need to run or even go on a walk now set back even further. Simple things like getting up to answer the doorbell or phone, or dancing in my kitchen. Working in my garden and giving massages seem to be kind of an impossible idea at this point. All these little (and kind of big) things seem a little overwhelming and teary, but I know it could be worse. It's just a pain that I have to deal with and accept like all the downs that come along in life.
If we're getting all Pollyanna about it though, here's the good I can see about the situation:
:: more time for books.
:: more time for Netfix.
:: an excuse to be in chill-mode even more and continue to live life at a slower pace (so hard for me.)
:: getting to be the Queen and giving orders. (Not sure how my "delegating" is going to go over around here.) Seriously, I am grateful to have the chance to be the receiver when most of the time in my life, I want to fill the role of the giver.
:: having a legitimate reason to say "no" to things I just don't really want, can, or care to do.
::developing a better understanding and compassion for people with physical disabilities and handicaps.
:: sucking it up regarding my ever increasing thighs and getting back to the pool. Grateful there's at least something I can do to keep moving and get my heart rate up. I think I'll start tomorrow.
:: the hope that the trial/gift of this temporary inconvenience will be able to help, remind, and teach me how to develop patience and contentment.